Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Tuesday, November 18, 2003  
Scared Blogless
We're mostly all bloggers here - or at least we're all familiar with blogging.

Okay. Lowest common denominator: If you're reading this, you know what a blog is.

Okay. That's now established for some of the newer or slower members of the Universe.

What I would now like to establish is: Am I the only one confused and not the least bit sympathetic to the blog topic phenom of late regarding parents, bosses, wives, children or significant others finding and reading a personal blog?

This topic has popped up on nearly every blog I read in the past few weeks. Places I wouldn't even suspect. Blogs where this sort of thing generally doesn't appear.

While The Blog That Started the Whole World Talking makes for funny and interesting and cautionary reading in The Onion, the only response I had was, "Poor guy, but what an idiot, why did he use his real name in his url or blog title?" My feeling was justice was served to this guy for being stupid enough to use his real name and for underestimating the intelligence of his mother in terms of web use. I thought he was lucky it was just his mom and not the IRS looking for back tax payments or a spammer/frauder grabbing his name from his blog, his email address, his home address, his employer and perhaps in the worst case scenario, his social security number. I wrote it off as a tale of Darwinism in the blogspace.

But apparently I'm once again nearly alone in this opinion. Because on blogs far and wide The Blog That Started the Whole World Talking is being mentioned with sympathetic tones, and more than a few "I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!!!"s. Bloggers around the world are scampering to change their URLS and blog titles and cleaning out their archives. Blogger even has a new page devoted to (what I thought were obvious) blog cloaking techniques. The widespread panic and wide-eyed Yikes! I'm reading have been very surprising to me.

Um, did you all miss the memo about a little search engine called Google? Or the follow-up memo on protecting your internet privacy?

Perhaps I should be the first to warn you not to give out your social security number or credit card information. Perhaps you missed those memos, too.

But maybe I'm being harsh?

I ask this because sometimes what is blazingly obvious to me is not so to the rest of the world. Which inevitably leads to me being slammed for being overly critical of the human race or for missing a crucial point or aspect. And maybe this is one of those issues. So I present a few points and ask the Universe:

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why do you include your name in your blog title or blog URL? You know, where the chances that someone will Google your name for fun or innocent curiosity are, well, pretty darned high?

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why do you do it on a public blog? You know, where the chances that someone you know will stumble across it and figure out it's you writing it are, well, pretty darned high?

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why do you use the email address everyone knows is yours? You know, where the chances that someone you know will stumble across your blog, not realize it's you until they see your email address and figure out it's you writing it are, well, pretty darned high? (Yahoo and Hotmail, to name a few, have free email accounts. Just in case you missed that memo, too. This provides an easy and free option for setting up an email account under a pseudonym or untraceable nick to you.)

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why do you tell your parents, friends, co-workers that you blog? You know, where the chances that one of them who knows enough about you will be curious and intuitive enough to enter a few key personal search terms and find your blog are, well, pretty darned high?

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why do you keep and maintain archives? You know, where the chances that someone will dredge up something embarrassing or unsavory, even a small comment, are, well, pretty darned high?

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would not tell or share with people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you, why would you set up your blog site on your office server or your parents' DSL account? You know, where the chances that your I.S. crew, your boss or your parents will obviously eventually find it are, well, pretty darned high? (and on this note, if you blog at work, do you really, honestly believe no one, especially the I.S. geeks and your boss, don't know it? Another memo you must have missed: Most employers track every website their employees visit. Daily. Hourly. On this note, for many blogging is the least of problems. If you think your employer or I.S. department isn't smart enough or is too busy to track your surf habits, guess again. And no, this is not paranoid rambling. It's a fact.)

If you are writing deeply personal thoughts and concerns on your blog, things you would share with a select few people whom you actually know, or minimally, things potentially embarrassing to you if anyone other than the select few read them, why do you do any of the above and why do you not consider the concepts of, "And they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on and so on, and so on..." as well as the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon theory? Where the chances that someone will innocently link your blog to another friend because you mentioned a great shoe sale, and that person not only reads about the great shoe sale, but also your archives and Holy Belgium! by the band name you mention she figures out you're sleeping with her cousin's husband's brother, so she then sends the archive link to her cousin, who then sends it to all the guys in the band, who then send it to the wife of your boyfriend are, well, pretty darned high?

Lots of questions. One obvious answer. To me. The human race is doomed by our own stupidity.

Keep in mind, I'm the one who had a Virgin Pulse earphone condom stuck in my ear for hours and didn't realize it. I'm not sitting here thinking I'm brilliant and above the rest of you. I'm just very confused by the pandamonium, widespread panic and general "OHMYGOD I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT"s this is creating. You really never thought of it? Really? I always thought all of the above just went without saying.

Or maybe I'm not losing my mind at all. Maybe those synapses are firing at record speeds. Maybe I am actually way more savvy (or untrusting) than most people. That all these points which were so blatantly obvious to me when I began blogging were actually Einsteinian concepts.

I hope not. If so, we really are doomed. I hope it's just a slow blog week.

8:09 AM

 
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