Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

Find State Officials
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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Sunday, December 14, 2003  
It's December 14. You've got 11 days. Shop! Shop like you've never shopped! You can go to The Mall (ugh) and buy the same old stuff. Or, you can exercise your online capabilities. In my continuing effort to provide retail therapy to the Universe, here are my online suggestions.

Red Tango I said it once before but...just go, okay?

Wildlife Works This is a fantastic place. You, yes little ol' you, can help a wildlife refuge in Africa, save baby Canadian seals, and help a captive elephant retire to a natural, happier place. "How," you ask? Do your holiday shopping at Wildlife Works Really fantastic t-shirts, great artwork, gift certificates...and the knowledge that your gift was received not just by the recipient of the goods, but by animals around the world. This is one of the truly good charitable organizations, making real, sincere, verifiable efforts to change animal atrocities. Regular shipping cut-off date for Christmas delivery is December 16. (They offer FedEx for all you last minute shoppers.) The shirts are great, I guarantee you will want pick something up for yourself, as well.

Speaking of donations, a donation to a person's favorite charity, in their name, is a great way to say Happy Holidays AND give that warm, fuzzy glow in their heart and yours. A few suggestions to get you started?
Red Cross
American Cancer Society
American Hospice
ASPCA
RSPCA, Furry Creature's favorite: Alley Cat Allies

Art makes a great gift. Can't afford to bid on that Van Gogh? Intimidated (or annoyed) by galleries? Lots of artists sell online. The great thing about this is you can discover a lot of artists you might not see in galleries or in your town. The even greater thing about the internet is that it gives all artists a chance to show their work. I could blog for the next month on artists, it's very difficult to choose just a few. To winnow down my choices for these purposes is impossible, so I've chosen a few of my favorites, artists I would give to friends and family with reckless abandon. Their appeal is broad and speaks to almost everyone on some level. First: Shag (Josh Agle - get it? (jo)Sh ag (le)) Shag's prices have soared over the past few years. But this site offers lots of affordable goodies, from t-shirts, to stickers, to checkbook covers, and oh, yeah, lithoprints and posters. Shag is a very prolific illustrator. I promise everyone will find at least one piece that appeals to them. I dare you to not buy something for yourself, too.
Kii Arens Fresh. Very, very fresh. Hot. Believe me now, thank me later. Still young and affordable. "Kooky" as some of the art may first appear, there is an undeniable appeal. Plus the site is loads of fun.
Tim Biskup Tim's appeal may be slightly more focused. But, then again, it's not offensive...AND, he's offering a holiday special! (don't you just love holiday specials?) Order $100 or more and Tim will throw in: 5 signed/numbered seriographs, a mini-sketchbook and random goodies (oooh, surprises just for you!) While you're visiting Tim, check out the Seonna Hong links.

Not the artsy fartsy type? Saunter over to my online mecca, Barnes and Noble Books and cds and movies are always a great gift. Always. Barnes and Noble's prices are great and the shipping is incredibly reliable.

"Yeah, those are all great ideas, and I've crossed a lot of people off my list, thanks, but Trillian," you say, "I've got this one person who is impossible to shop for - has everything, doesn't need anything...what can I get them?" Relax. I've got a solution. Lunar Embassy is selling real estate on the Moon (ours) and Mars. This isn't a joke. The deeds are real. And what with all the recent moon mission talk, this is a timely gift. An archive of the deed registry is going to be on that 2004 trip to the Moon. Best of all? You can wait until December 24 to make your purchase. Lunar Embassy is offering a downloadable deed at time of purchase.

Okay, that should get you started. Happy holiday shopping.

7:59 AM

 
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