Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Thursday, September 08, 2005  
The word for today is: Thievery.

I’ve had a lot stolen from me. Especially in the last year. The theft of the tangible items came with a monetary or financial asset loss. But you know, hey, it’s just money. They’re just things.

The intangible thefts came with a higher price tag. Mostly emotional losses.

And since I’m now striving to be void of emotion, those losses aren’t quite as difficult as they were. Another positive result of the no expectations, void of emotion stance. Feel the void. Be the void. Feel nothing. Be one with the nothingness. Ahhh. Yes. There it is.

The past few weeks have been emotion packed for me. And a lot of other people, too. I had to allow emotions because, well, there were emotion worthy people involved.

I’m dealing with my emotions, you know, as okay as can be expected. I’m now able to void them most of the day and take them out when I have me time. It was during one of those sessions with my emotions that I realized how much I’ve had taken from me. I thought about whether it was flat out thievery or if I was responsible for allowing the thievery to happen. Nah. I’m not about blame. I was just trying to learn any lesson that I should be learning. I haven’t chosen to be a victim, but then, I don’t think anyone does. And oddly, through the muggings, the break ups, the dumb stuff at work and in life I haven’t really felt victimized. Crap happens and a lot of crap happens to me. I accept that. Which could be the open back door which lets the thievery into my life.

Irony, thy name is Trillian.

I spent some time thinking about this. All the things I’ve had stolen from me and how I may or may not have been responsible for allowing the theft to happen. I was in the process of processing the lists, “my fault” and “not my fault” and trying to sort out the lessons I should learn from the thefts in the “my fault” column when blam! I had another theft.

It’s possible the Universe was proving a point. Because the timing was far too coincidental to be a coincidence. And we’ve establishing nothing is random.

The day after a night of heavy thinking about the thefts I had something huge stolen from me.

Something that was an outright theft. A calculated, premeditated, cut throat thievery.

My (needs a new nickname) boss has been stealing from me since the day she started her job as my boss. She exploits my ideas and projects as hers as a matter of course. She takes complete credit for nearly everything I do at work. There are a few areas which she seems to have known better than to try to pass off as hers. She’s a common thief, but she’s not always stupid. She’s smart enough to know how to not get caught. Which in this case means making sure she sucks up to and befriends the right people. The people who have a small amount of authority and zero awareness.

I don’t really mind that she steals credit for my ideas and work. The point of my job is to make the clients happy, to give them what they pay for and to do the best job I can for them. The petty grabs for personal credit inside the office are insignificant in the big picture. I know what I do, she knows what she doesn’t do. As the my supervisor she’s ultimately responsible for my work. Her taking credit for the idea or project could be construed as justifiable and even normal. She’s the boss, she accepts credit on behalf of the department. I get it. I understand. It doesn’t matter. I’m not in this for anything other than a paycheck.

It bothers me slightly that she trips over herself doling out enthusiastic credit to a few other staff people who happen to also be her personal friends. Especially when the enthusiastic credit is given for tasks which are rudimentary fundamental tasks. “Janey answered her telephone twice today! Everyone, gather round and thank Janey for doing such a fantastic job!” “Morgan ran into a client at the bar last night! Morgan has incredible networking skills! Let’s all give Morgan a big round of applause for his outstanding work above and beyond the call of duty!”

If you think I’m exaggerating to make a point, guess again.

We have an annual appraisal system which requires certain goals. As a supervisor one of her benchmarks is to recognize her underlings. She sends out these company wide emails to further her own cause. At review time she can prove she doles out a lot of praise on her underlings who are working really hard! See?! Answering phones and networking with clients! See? Her staff is motivated and hard working, all because of her guidance. And she recognizes and praises them for their hard work. She’s a good boss! There’s proof!

Interestingly, she has never, not one, sent an email or made a public comment about me or my work.

There is a person in my department who didn’t realize I worked for my (needs a new nickname) boss. This coworker came to me for help with something under someone else’s jurisdiction. When I told them I would help but that they might want to ask someone in that unit for more in depth help, they said, “You mean you don’t work for the Good Boss? I only asked you because I thought you were filling in while Good Boss was out of the office. You seriously work for (needs a new nickname) boss? Really? I guess I should pay more attention to the org chart. Wow. I mean, I just didn’t realize you worked for her. Huh.”

Out of the mouths of the innocent and into the ears of the defeated.

I knew about the lies and bogus claims on (needs a new nickname) boss’ resumé and knew exactly what I would be dealing with when she began the job. She has nothing of her own to offer so she makes up lies and steals credit from other people to seal or further her success. I saw through her like glass and I’ve accepted and dealt with it. This isn’t a movie, this is real life. And in real life I need to keep my job. In real life there’s not a sexy leading man to help me foil her in a big finale confrontational scene. In real life I am not afraid to confront her about her lies but I see no point in it.

Let’s just say I were to talk to her about it.

“Hi (needs a new nickname) boss. Twinkie? Say, you know, here’s something. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about all the lies you tell, in particular the stealing of credit for work I do. It’s not that I mind you taking credit on behalf the department or that I’m even really bothered when you blatantly lie and say you worked all weekend to finish a project when in fact it was me who sacrificed their weekend. No, that’s okay. I understand you have your own personal agenda. But I was rather hoping that in the future when an award with a monetary prize is given to a project which I actually completed you might share some of that wealth with me. What’s that? A trip to Paris? Oh. Yes. Of course. Your vacation plans. Quite a little trip your taking! Sounds like fun. Two whole weeks, eh? Wow. That’ll be great. You don’t say? I hear the Loire Valley is lovely this time of year. Yes, I can see where that prize money would come in handy.”

She knows she’s lying. I know she’s lying. She knows she accepted an award and prize money for something she didn’t even know existed until her boss told her it was nominated for an award.

Is it really fraud? The name on the award is hers, but right below it is our company and the name of the project. She accepted the award on behalf of our company. She accepted the money for herself. But she’s not misrepresenting the company, she’s misrepresenting herself. It’s life. It happens all the time.

What happens to the award and money after it’s presented is only relevant to the people who benefit from it. The rest of us just move along with our lives.

Oh sure, there’s a much bigger business ethics issue here. The money isn’t any more mine than it is hers. If it weren’t for my company and the client the project wouldn’t have crossed my path or hers. In a truly altruistic and fair world, that money would go to a charity or company fund. Or a party for the department. Or one of many other ideas which have nothing to do with her exotic vacation.

But to slate her out about it would be to impose my ethics on someone who clearly adheres to a different code of conduct. She can reason and justify anything because she doesn’t care about anyone other than herself. She’s a liar and a thief. And a scoundrel, too.

Let’s say I had that little talk with her. Then what?

Did I mention I need my job? Did I mention none of this really matters to me? Did I mention she’s an habitual liar? And a thief?

It’s just interesting all of this happened a few days after I started thinking about everything that’s been stolen from me.

“Oh, here! Add this to the list!” the Universe said. "There's no lesson to be learned. There are liars and scoundrels and selfish people. They will take whatever they want for their personal gain. You cannot apply your morality on other people. You are responsible only for yourself and your actions. There are always choices. The choices here are quit or accept her as is. Or accept her as is until you find another job so you can quit. She will continue to steal from you because she can. You could slate her out but be sure you have your motivations clear. Define your objective and seek to obtain it or just go about your normal business and do everything you can to leave."

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1:28 PM

 
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