Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Monday, March 05, 2007  
"Turn Cyberlosers into Social-networking Magnets”
I've never liked Myspace, Facebook or Friendster. Mainly because I'm not 14. And I have an aversion (perhaps even an allergy) to bad graphics, spam, infantile comments posted by complete strangers and pervy men trolling for, well, what pervy men troll for on those sites.

Most people know this sort of stuff happens. It's been an accepted practice on online dating sites since the dawn of online dating. "Seeds" are planted - good looking, "fun" sounding people posing as members to lure in would-be dates. When they don't respond to email sent by prospective wooers, it's not a big deal. The wooer simply thinks the "member" is rude or not interested. The reliable dating sites have slowed this practice in the past few years because they have enough legit members and because they don't want to risk losing those credit card carrying members because of something as silly as their reputation as an honest service provider. But free and less reputable sites use this ploy. A lot.

It stands to reason the practice of renting fake friends for the sole purpose of misrepresenting yourself in a community where it's very difficult to get caught, and if you do get caught, it doesn't really matter, would latch onto this practice. These are not people you will probably ever meet face to face. If they get hurt or offended by a fake friend list, so what? What difference does it really make? There are loads of other people to meet online, sure, they were good for some comments and a twinkling fairy graphic now and then, but let's face it, they're hardly going to drive you home when you've had too much to drink or give you a place to stay when your apartment building goes condo.

This is an entire industry being built around Myspace et al, an industry based on lies and deception. At best it's spin doctoring, a little PR for the lonely and/or uncool, the people who just need a little nudge to get them started. I call this de Bergeracking. Sad but innocent attempts to fit into a community which values looks and "coolness" above all other things. It's the equivalent of trying to hang out with the cool kids in order to give off the perception of being cool. Deep down they're very cool, but a little socially awkward. Rent-a-friends give them the confidence to let their cool shine through their social awkwardness.

At worst it's fraud. It's fueling false self-esteem and perpetuating the bad reputation the online "community" has due to the scams, fraud and cyber stalkers who come with the territory. In either case, and every variation in-between, it's pathetic and sad that it's come to this. I call this lying.

Either because of Sims or the safety needs of anonymity, the line between reality and fantasy is blurred online.

People who are big in Sims worlds often have a distorted sense of their real life identity. For many people it is not just a late night diversion. Their persona in Sims world is attractive, popular, wealthy and in many cases oversexed. Heck, who wouldn't want to live in Sims? It's compensating for all the shortcomings in the real world. It's a trip to Fantasy Island without having to fly on that sea plane and deal with the unpredictable and sometimes hard nosed Mr. Roark. The "good" thing about Sims worlds is that everyone knows it's fake, everyone knows it's all a lie. The whole point of the thing is to lie. But when John Bigbucks leaves Sims and wanders over to Myspace, is he going to shift gears and become Percy Nobody? I strongly doubt it. He's on a popularity buzz from Sims, he's riding high on the drug of acceptance and power, he's going to want to take that with him to the next community website.

And then there are the safety issues. I'm big on online safety. Real big. I know of one too many people who've been badly burned by slacking with their anonymity online. I strongly believe in anonymous blog posts. If you can't lose your job or your significant other, do not blog about them with your actual name. So to some extent I'm guilty of perpetuating the online lying epidemic. I, and many other bloggers, blog away under a pseudonym for personal safety reasons. It's not important who we "really" are. We're not misrepresenting ourselves and most of us don't post fake friends or comments by fake friends. We're not blogging to gain popularity or get a date or widen our social circle with hot, cool friends. We blog some words, maybe a photo or two, and then resume our regularly scheduled lives. Basically, we don't live to blog or blog to live.

But then there are the others. The others who do exactly that. They've got some need to be accepted, some craving to be popular. Mainly I feel sorry for them. If they're suffering so badly that they need to rent "friends" well, I mean, ethics lessons are not the first reason why these people need to seek counseling.

As for the increasing attention the rent-a-friend services are getting, I see this as a good thing. Eventually word will spread and people will be more savvy about selecting friends online or even using those sites in the first place. People won't trust cyber "friends" as being reliable or honest and the popularity of the sites will decrease. Heck, people might even bother to get out in public and make face to face social connections.

3:06 PM

 
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