Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Wednesday, October 01, 2008  
Okay, so, just so we're all clear on this, Life(?) of Trillian is a nonpartisan, election propaganda-free zone.

Consider this your place to turn when the election and politics makes your head ache or your stomach hurt. Or if you just want (or need) a break from the election.

I believe in voting. It's a right, a responsibility, a duty, an obligation and above all a choice. As citizens we're given the freedom of choice. Exercising that choice, even if that choice is not voting is important for all of us - individually and as a whole. Hey, we're a free people. Whatever your opinion, motivation or choice you have the freedom to exercise it.

But. I will say this in a very non-partisan way: Make a conscious decision. Don't be passive about the politics which shape the world in which you live. At the very least, strive to be informed. Credibly informed.

Political campaigns are marketing. The product being hawked is a candidate. Vote for me = buy this product. Put as much research and thought into selecting a candidate as you do choosing a pain reliever. You could just buy whatever's on sale. Or the one which had a discount coupon in the Sunday paper. But it might cause liver damage. Or make you sick to your stomach. Or relieve the inflamation but not the pain. Or interfere with other medications you take. Better to do real research instead of falling victim to marketing. Be an informed, aware consumer.

I also believe if you're reading this you are intelligent, aware, and mature enough to do your own research and make up your own mind about politicians. You're also kind and open minded enough to respect ideas and opinions other than your own.

So we here at Life(?) of Trillian will deliberately avoid the topic of the election.

Oh sure, we might discuss some related situations. But only in a non-partisan, as-they-happen, observing and reporting manner.

For instance, should someone at Life(?) of Trillian experience questionable behavior at a polling place, that person might put it out there for the world to see.

Or if the Universe needs a reality check on the process of voting, one might find a few words here.

Heck, were someone to make official endorsements you might even find them here.

But.

We are a non-partisan safe house on the web. Love all, respect all.

Okay. Now that that's out of the way, a few words on the word of the day: Electioneering.

We've covered this ground in the past.

But.

In the past two weeks I've received numerous forward emails about wearing campaign buttons, t-shirts, jock straps or thongs when you vote.

Electioneering is apparently a little known "rule." I guess they don't teach it in required civics or government classes anymore. So the Henny Penny-esque, "This is an outrage and a violation of my rights!" "We're one vote away from communism!" fear-triggered proliferation of these emails is causing an internet frenzy.

Altogether now. Calmly. Rationally. Hold my hand. It will be okay. I promise.

Electioneering is not allowed within 100 feet of polling places in most states. This is one of those fundamental rules in place to ensure everyone feels free to cast their vote without influence, bribe or threat of persecution. Everyone, regardless of their political beliefs or affiliations, deserves the right to sleep soundly in the knowledge that within 100 feet of their polling place they will be in a marketing-free, judgment-free, persecution-free, peer pressure-free zone.

Polling places are sacred - they are non-partisan sanctuaries of freedom.

Period.

Hence, the rules regarding electioneering.

Period.

This is nothing new. This is not evidence of The Man keeping average citizens down. Freedoms are not being threatened or violated.

This is actually a good thing. It's meant to keep polling places non-partisan and non-threatening to all citizens. Without electioneering laws candidates could use all sorts of persuasive marketing techniques while you're in the polling place casting votes. It's meant to keep, at the very least, the polling places equal. And free of marketing. Electioneering laws give us one last bastion of hope against marketing. Electioneering laws are protecting freedoms. Really. I promise.

The rule (in most states) is: No visible candidate name or likeness can be on your person within 100 feet of the polling place. Straight from a Chicago board of elections rep: Voters in Chicago who turn up to vote wearing campaign buttons or t-shirts are asked to remove the button(s) and t-shirts (or turn them inside out), or completely cover them prior to entering the confines of the polling place. Also, if you get all hopped up high on campaign fever and start screaming out "Vote for (whomever)!" within the confines of the polling place you will be removed from the polling place. You cannot carry a candidate balloon, lollipop or anything with their likeness or name on it into the polling place.

However, as long as you don't wear your campaign jock strap or thong where it's visible you are perfectly welcome to wear it into the polling place as you cast your vote.

There's a ton of gray area - if you are holding an election flyer, for instance, is that electioneering? Well, technically, yes. You may be asked to fold it so the name or image isn't showing. You also may be asked to hand it over to an election official while you are in the polling place.

I am always very, very surprised at the disregard for electioneering in Chicago. I know. I know. I don't know why I'm surprised. Dis is Chicago. But. Still. I mean. The blatant disregard is disturbing to me. It has improved since I moved here. (in one of my first elections I saw an election worker's totebag with a campaign bumper sticker on it - the totebag was over the back of the chair and on display for all voters to see as they stood in line waiting for a booth. I haven't seen anything like that in the past few years.) But compared to other places I've voted, places where polling places are sacred, quiet, non-partisan sanctuaries, Chicago still has a long way to go.

Last year I had a questionable experience regarding electioneering. Lots of gray area. So I polled you. Yes, you, the intelligent readers.

The results were varied. It's a tight vote. There's a strong constiuancy who feel the type of donut is a deciding factor. Powdered sugar and jelly constitute electioneering. Funny, that. I would think cream sticks would be more of a concern. We also heard from the Munchkin delegates. And at least two people presumably from Chicago or in a witness protection program made their opinions known.
Electioneering Poll

Does giving out donuts at a polling place qualify as electioneering?
Yes
No
Only in Springfield
Only if they're jelly filled powdered sugar
Not if they're munchkins
What is electioneering?
Have you seen the bottom of the Chicago River?
= create poll =


The poll is still open if you missed it the first time or if you would like to vote again (hey, dis is Chicago, perhaps you have a dead relative who would like to weigh in on the topic).

Be wise, beware, be respectful. Learn the rules of your polling place, understand them and respect them.

You also might want to check your company's policy regarding political campaigning, too. Many companies have policies prohibiting candidate campaign materials in the workplace. Yes. In some cases distributing or even displaying election materials - including but not limited to buttons, bumper stickers, placards, balloons - is grounds for dismissal. Be particularly mindful of your company's policies if you work in a cube. Your cube is "open" space, not private space. What you pin up on your cube wall is deemed to be on public display. Also, check the dress code. Political t-shirts may be expressly prohibited - this is a very common rule in corporate dress codes. You have been reminded. You're welcome.

I'm all for freedom of speech, but, unless you're working at a candidate headquarters, I tend to agree with company policies banning election campaign advertising. No one should be forced to see political campaign materials at work. They're there to do a job which in most cases has nothing to do with their choice of candidate. Sure, it's to be expected, particularly during this year's election. But. Religion, sex and politics are three sacred and very, very personal topics best kept out of the office. If you love your candidate and want to express the depth of your support turn your bedroom into a shrine to the candidate. Cover your car in stickers and magnets and drive around with a megaphone telling the world about your candidate. Start a blog extolling the many wondrous virtues of your candidate. Cool, right? Rock on. Just don't subject your coworkers to your campaign fervor and zeal.

And, one last issue for the new century. Photography in a polling place. Polling places are subject to local election laws. Election judges and workers are the "sheriffs" in polling places. They keep things safe, fair and legal for everyone. They are not, repeat, are not the bad guys. In the days before cameraphones election officials could easily enforce laws regarding photography in their polling place. If it was illegal to take photographs (or video) it was pretty darned easy to uphold the law. Cameras, video and still, were obvious. But not so, now. Cameraphones make it really easy to circumvent those pesky no camera rules. But. Just because you can clandestinely take photos on your mobile phone in a polling place doesn't mean you should. Be aware that snapping a photo in a polling place may be a felony in your state or jurisdiction. Check your state's laws. In Chicago a provision (10 ILCS 5/29-9) makes it a felony to mark a ballot or cast a vote “so that it can be observed by another person.” The same provision also makes it a felony to “observe another person lawfully marking a ballot or lawfully casting his vote . . .” This would prevent a person from photographing or recording someone else voting, but it would not prevent a person from photographing or recording himself/herself voting. In addition, 10 ILCS 5/17-11 requires voters to enter the voting booth alone (or with a child). This would also prevent a person from photographing or recording someone else voting.

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