Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Wednesday, May 13, 2009  
Observing…reporting…apologizing…

On behalf of 28,000 of the 29,000 population of my hometown, I apologize for using federal government money to beautify two miles of a road leading into my hometown. $719,000 seems like a lot of money for new street lights and trees to us, too. And yes, while not the latest, coolest, greenest street lights, the road already has perfectly bright, functioning lights. And some darned nice trees, too. This is an established community with decades-old trees lining the streets.

But the federal government is giving my hometown the money, so, heh heh, the city councilmen are not going to look that gift horse in the mouth!

Okay, sure, that street could actually use repair. Potholes, a disintegrating shoulder and not-so-functional drainage ditch on that stretch of road need repair. But the $719,000 can not be used for road repair. It must be spent on beautification improvements.

I visited my hometown last weekend. I drove into town on the section of road that will be beautified. The oak and maple trees are budding, dotted by lilacs, magnolias and flowering cherry trees. And daffodils line a good portion of the road. It was pretty darned beautiful. The mind boggles at what $719,000 will do to further beautify those two miles of road.

Please, please believe me when I say most of the townsfolk think this is a ridiculous waste of money. They are outraged at the required “beautifying allocations” while a few miles down the road, the next town over, there is a smaller town in bankruptcy hit hard by job losses and foreclosures, dealing with a suddenly large homeless population. My hometown is rich in comparison and would love to help their neighboring town. $719,000 isn’t a lot of money, not enough to solve the neighboring town’s problems, but, it would help.

There are people living in their cars or camping in a park in RVs and tents, feeding their kids on food from church food banks…and 10 miles away there’s a town spending $719,000 on street lights and trees. For a two mile section of road that already has street lights. And trees. And flowers.

I know. I know. Life is not fair. And money is allocated differently…from different budgets…different constituents…but…still.

Multiply this example of government spending weirdness across the country and you begin to understand my concern and the puzzling choices in project funding.

$719,000 works out to ~$25/per resident. What if everyone who lives in my hometown gave $25 to the neighboring town? I know, I know. Life is not fair and why should people pony up $25 to offset the ridiculousness of the $719,000 street lamp and tree windfall that they didn’t even request or know they were getting?

Generosity? Love they neighbor? The Golden Rule? Karma? Because it’s the right thing to do?

Perhaps you’ve been spared such a stark example in contrasts. Lucky you. Ignorance is bliss.

People in my hometown are upset by this. And it’s embarrassing. Those two miles of beautified roadside are going to be a showy taunt to anyone visiting from the impoverished town. “Nah, nah, the government likes us better, they gave us money to beautify our road.”

My mother is embarrassed to go to the grocery in the neighboring town. She prefers that grocery because it’s smaller and easier for her to manage. And they carry the brand of cottage cheese she likes. She was holding her head high, happy to do her part to help the neighboring town’s economy. Now she’s ashamed to represent the town with the $719,000 street lights and trees. She wishes she could apologize to the people in the neighboring town.

My mother’s thoughtful that way.

And I think most of us are thoughtful that way, too. But it’s hard to apologize to, well, an entire town.

So: Sorry. I’m sorry. My mother’s sorry. Her neighbors are sorry. The people in her church are sorry. The nurses in her doctor’s office are sorry. They didn’t vote for, or even know, they were the recipients of $719,000 street beautification funds until the trees showed up and the city council touted the new environmentally correct street lights.

2:25 PM

 
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