Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Tuesday, November 16, 2010  
I haven't posted a Michigan shout-out post for a while. Sorry, Michigan. I'm, you know, going through something.

I'm not big on the whole cupcake trend. The cupcake lovefest is waning, which is too bad for enterprising bakers who were able to breathe new life into their shops, but it was all just a bit too much. For the sake of small business owners and the people they employ I'm hoping the bottom doesn't fall out of the cupcake market. But I do hope the fever pitch cupcake hype calms a bit.

Mrs. Field probably launched the baked-good marketing machine. Then remember when croissants were all the rage? Croissant shops popped up everywhere. Then it was bagels. Then biscotti. Blondies had a little moment in the baked good marketing sun. Then those cookies that look like flowers delivered in a "bouquet." So, you know, there is solid empirical baked-good marketing data for the cupcake people to use. People like novelty baked goods but baked-good trends fade fast. Get in early, make a giant cake pan full of money and get out before TLC has a show featuring the baked good as a topic for a reality show. (TLC is my trend barometer: Once they air a show featuring something that thing's popularity (and trend value) is waning. If TLC is airing a show on a product or service, don't invest, the value is dropping, you missed the quick investment money opportunity.)

Right. Now that I've said all that, I have the nerve to turn around and say, "Rock on Just Baked! Check out these cupcakes!!!"

That little girl in the photo is displaying the exact look I had when I bit into a Faygo cupcake.

Faygo pop is sometimes the butt of jokes. Jokes about being poor and living in Detroit. But. I like the stuff. Redpop especially. It's kind of like a Twizzler, but with fizz and a little something more, something redder. Yes, redder than a Twizzler! I know! If you've never had the pleasure of a Faygo Redpop you haven't fully lived life. Plus it's fun to say. Redpop. Redpop. Redpop. No, it's not a Vernor's, my go-to pop of choice, but Redpop is special. It's for birthday parties and Christmas and sack lunches packed for school field trips to the zoo and sleepovers and the last day of Summer vacation before school starts and a secret ingredient in punch and...you get the point. It's special.

If, by chance you end up not enjoying the sweet red elixir don't despair over the money spent on pop! My parents used to use Faygo Redpop to attract hummingbirds to the garden. 

And now, oh glorious bake-a-licious goodness, now the sweet nectar that is Faygo Redpop is available in cupcake form. Like Redpop, it's reminiscent of a Twizzler. But different. Redder.

The grape and orange pop flavored cupcakes are good, too. The grape tastes exactly like grape pop and the orange has a nice citrus-y zest. I like citrus-y zest.

As relieved as I am that the cupcake trend is subsiding I wish metropolitan Detroit's Just Baked bakery continued success. I also hope they go national with their Faygo flavored baked-goods. I would love for Just Baked to put Detroit on the national baked good map. Plus they have a Fat Elvis cupcake. ("Our moist banana cake topped with peanut butter-buttercream pillows then hand dipped in our homemade ganache. Takin' Care of Business!") I mean c'mon, that's not just jumping on a trend, that's inspired.

If you can't find a Faygo cupcake in your area here's a recipe that is really good, straight from the Faygo website: Faygo Black Cherry Chocolate Cake


And for the crafty/adventurous, also from the Faygo website, how to make your own play dough using pop! This was a holiday staple craft in my Sunday school. We molded entire diaramas of Bethlehem out of play dough we made ourselves. I was usually in charge of sculpting the animals because I had a way with rendering animals play dough, but one year I couldn't get a good texture on a lamb so I re-worked it into what became baby Jesus.

My parents were very proud. They beamed as the parishioners looked on at our painstakingly crafted nativity model. "Our daughter made baby Jesus this year!" I remember parishioners being impressed. Or at least pretending to be impressed. Having your home-made play dough baby Jesus chosen for the display was quite an honor. And pretty much the highlight of my Sunday school career.

After Advent ended we took the hardened home-made play dough baby Jesus home. He was put on display on the mantel next to my brother's shop class wood and copper owl-perched-in-a-tree sculpture. He was there for a couple years and my parents explained to visitors that it was baby Jesus and that I not only sculpted Him, I also made the play dough from which He was formed. I think they were trying to boost my self esteem. I mean, sure, a play dough baby Jesus used in the church Sunday school nativity is no small feat, but, it's not on par with a mixed media owl-perched-in-a-tree shop class project. But I digress. Faygo rocks. (and rye! Rock and rye!!! Rock on! (That's a Michigan thing, rock and rye is another Faygo flavor))

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7:21 PM

 
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