Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Sunday, December 12, 2010  
If you are bashing/boycotting the Salvation Army for discriminating against gays and minorities and for the charity's anti-Harry Potter/Twilight stance you damn well better not shop at Walmart where they
a) discriminate against gays, minorities, women and the disabled - not just during the holidays but year 'round;
b) believe in censorship and refuse to sell music with the PMRC label or books with "naughty" words/ideas (or written by dangerous minds like Jon Stewart and George Carlin);
and, oh yeah, c) sell firearms, bullets, bows, arrows and crossbows.
Reminder: Walmart is a profit corporation bound by state and federal labor and trade laws, unlike the Salvation Army which is a religious non-profit charity who can thus distribute their donations however, wherever they see fit in accordance to their publicly posted recipient guidelines. They have never, not once, hidden the fact that they are a Christian organization. They laud Jesus and do their work in His name. They value fundamental Christian values - there is no secret about this. The Salvation Army is, and always has been, out and proud about their purpose and values. The issue of gay rights, therefore, isn't with the Salvation Army, it's with many Bible-based religions.

In boycotting the Salvation Army you are guilty of discrimination, too. You are, by disassociation, discriminating against the Salvation Army donation recipients in your community. You are depriving people of food, clothing, health care, and yes, toys for the kids, among other services the Salvation Army provides. You are condemning and persecuting the Salvation Army for their religious beliefs, beliefs they have not hidden or denied. You and I may not agree with those beliefs, but that's not the point. We don't want anyone to tell us what to Believe (or not). If we admonish, lambaste or disrespect other people for their Beliefs (or unBelief) we are a) hypocritical and b) guilty of discrimination and religious persecution. Hatred. We become haters, guilty of the exact type of hatred we hate: Blind. Judgmental. Intolerant. Narrow-minded. Self-centered. The only way to "fight" back is, you guessed it: Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. (duh). Accept. It's the first and most important step in the process.

Things are bad. Unemployment is still ravaging across the US and world. People, lots of people, are still losing their homes, or struggling to keep a roof over their heads and eat at least one a meal a day. If it weren't for my family and friends I would be in a shelter - most likely a Salvation Army funded shelter - and/or eating a meal provided by Salvation Army pantries. Thankfully I have family and friends who can and will help me. But other people, lots of other people, don't have that option. Their family and friends are impoverished, too. So yes, the outburst of hatred and protests about the Salvation Army are packing a particularly painful sting this year. Perhaps the people making those posts have been unaffected by the past couple years of economic hardship. (Yes, there are a few people who remain blissfully unaware.) To them I implore: This is not the time in history to discourage ANY charitable contributions.

There’s a thin line between supporting a cause and self-righteous, self-promoting puffery. Before you spread charity-bashing blog/Facebook/Twitter posts take a minute to think about why you're compelled to make that post and who your actions will impact. Your friends and family are probably well aware of your feelings about gay rights, discrimination and censorship. They probably agree with you. They probably don't need to read your "DON'T DONATE TO THE SALVATION ARMY BECAUSE THEY HATE GAYS AND WON'T ACCEPT HARRY POTTER AND TWILIGHT BOOKS!!!" post. Think about who will really pay the price for reduced contributions. It won't be the people ringing bells in front of stores or playing in the brass bands on sidewalks. It will be the neediest people in your community who will see a reduction in (or go completely without) help from the Salvation Army.

If you truly want to support gay rights and promote anti-censorship (as well as anti-gun causes) while also supporting your community small businesses and their employees there's a very easy first step to take: Stop shopping at effing Walmart.

I support gay rights and anti-gun legislation, fully. I find discrimination of any kind abhorrent. Censorship? Intolerable. Church and state? Separate, always and forever.

But. I also believe in redemption. I believe in the big picture, the greater good. The Salvation Army's tireless global good works coupled with their long history of direct community aid are too important to overlook and/or dismiss. Too many truly needy people benefit from the Salvation Army's aid to write the charity off as gay-bashing, gun-toting, Bible-thumping, Bush-supporting villains.

By the way, did you know the The Salvation Army organized a "Trade in your guns for a Bible" exchange in Papua, New Guinea? While in an ideal world I would prefer a "Trade in your guns for clean water and a post-secondary education" exchange, getting even a few guns out of circulation is a positive step forward. And hey, if some of the peace, forgiveness and acceptance lessons from the Bible sink in with a former gun-toting/trading Papuan, where's the harm in that?

Also, keep in mind that the Salvation Army is one of the few charities that apply their donations directly to the communities where the donations are given. When you donate to your local Salvation Army buckets/drive you are donating directly to less fortunate and disabled people in your community. Yes, a percentage of the local donations goes toward the global mission. The percentages vary by community depending on the financial dynamic of the community. The Salvation Army in Detroit, for instance, gives a lesser percentage to the global mission than, say, the Beverly Hills chapter who has a lesser local need.

I love and support my friends who happen to be homosexual and I long for a day sexual preference won't be an issue in any arena.

I would give my life in a fight against censorship and I dream of a day when anyone in the world can freely read or listen to anything they want without fear.

I respect the right to religious beliefs, or lack thereof, and my biggest hope for human evolution is that we will live up to our "rational thinking" reputation on the food chain and become a tolerant, respecting, accepting species.

And I would never advocate abstaining from donating to a charitable organization that helps people in their darkest hours and in their deepest need.

If my homosexual friends/readers find this opinion to be hypocritical, I am truly sorry we disagree. I don't see it as an either/or issue. In my vision of a perfect world gay rights would be a given, a non-issue, like breathing (and drinking clean water and reading any book and listening to any music we want). And in that world poverty and disasters wouldn't exist so there wouldn't be a need for the Salvation Army.

Unfortunately we live in an imperfect world with a lot of poverty and disasters. Gay rights matter, a lot. Fighting censorship matters, a lot. But feeding, clothing and sheltering homeless families, our friends and neighbors, is a more urgent and critical matter. A kid who doesn't have a place to live or food to eat isn't worried about what happens to Bella in the next installment of Twilight. I wish poverty (and it's affiliated issues like food, shelter, clothing and healthcare) wasn't such a widespread and urgent issue. I wish poverty was so insignificant, affecting such a tiny portion of the world populous, that there would be no need for charitable agencies.

Wouldn't it be great to live in a world where we could honestly say, "C'mon, do we really need the Salvation Army? I mean, geeze, everyone in the world has a safe place to live, healthy food to eat, clean water, climate appropriate clothing, and access to healthcare and education. Why do we even need the Salvation Army anymore?" I hope I live to see that day. And on that day I hope my gay friends are married and we're sitting around discussing the latest books about wizardry, religion, politics and sex and laughing about the silly old days when music came with a warning attached to it.

Until then, my change is going in the Salvation Army bucket. I'll shop at the Salvation Army Thrift Stores not because I'm unemployed and poor, but because I want to shop there. In spite of what people say about eBay, I contend that the Salvation Army Thrift Stores are the world's biggest garage sale except the money goes to charity instead of funding someone's new couch. (And seriously, I've found some fantastic vintage vinyl at Salvation Army stores.) 

And I will not perpetuate discrimination, religious persecution and hatred.









*My local Salvation Army does not accept toy guns of any kind - Nerf, water, potato...no guns or weapons whatsoever. And I recently perused the book shelves at a Salvation Army Thrift Store and saw some Twilight books there. A couple years ago I found a treasure trove of early '70s vinyl including Alice Cooper's Billion Dollar Babies, which, by the way, Walmart will not stock the CD version.

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