Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Friday, October 14, 2011  
Wheeeee!!!! I forgot I had $34 in my Pay Pal account thanks to a couple items sold on eBay!

Yay!

This is great news, because the verdict derived from the reader suggestions about what to do next is:
Engage in self-destructive behaviors.

Except it's not so much "self-destructive" as it is "react to outside influences." The non-self-induced destruction already occurred, and I tried every means of corrective action that I could conceive, and failed, and so, now I'm free to throw caution to the wind and just live in the moment.

Yes, I know, I'm just a knock on the door away from living under the highway overpass by night and pushing a grocery cart around town by day, and I will be living in some not-so-great moments very soon. But, that's kinda the point - I'm already down, I tried to climb out but kept falling.

The two options are: Stand in the hole waiting for the final collapse, or, start digging.

I'm embracing failure and the subsequent liberation of defeat.

During those days when I was being tested for cancer I felt so unburdened, such profound relief, and that felt so good.

I was kinda mad to have relief taken away from me.

But it occurs to me that similar relief can be derived from the unburdening myself of my metaphoric life. Live in this moment, right now, and don't think about the next one, certainly not the next day.

So, yesterday I remembered I have money in my Pay Pal account that, with a couple clicks, went into my bank account. Today: Whatever gamboling I can devise with just my whims and a few dollars.

A movie and Twizzlers? Yeah, that'll cost about $34. So, maybe. Booze is a possibility. So predictable though. And, as we've discussed, during the past two years apart from a couple notable exceptions I've had very little desire to drink or get drunk. I've had plenty of opportunities and almost no desire. So, I dunno, as self destructive as it sounds, I'm not sure that's the first whim upon which I will act.

I'm drawn to the concept that many (most?) truly self-destructive behaviors are not typically considered vices. Alcohol, booze, drugs, food, sex and money are the usual go-to outlets for self-destructive behavior. But there are oh so many more ways to self-destruct. Watch any television pop psychologist (or any reality show, for that matter) and you'll get a long list of ways to self-destruct.

Some of them are a matter of perspective. For example, I happen to view fake boobs, hair extensions and Botox as self-destructive behavior. But many (many) women (and the men who fuck them) disagree so strongly that they'll come at me in an angry mob with torches and pitchforks just for writing that on a blog. For them, these artificial enhancements are where they derive self-esteem. And if it gives you confidence, it can't be bad, right? That's their argument. Their POV. I don't share that opinion, but I'm not judging them. No, really, I'm not. Even though I have zero emotional investment in them, I'm worrying about them. And even more to my point, I'm worried about what's reflected in their need to derive self-esteem from fake boobs, hair and line-less faces. And what they're perpetuating. To me, that behavior reaches beyond self-destructive and is squarely in: This is part of the decay of civilization, we're devolving at a rate faster than the naturally scheduled progression. See? This is the thing about self-destructive behaviors that intrigues me. There's a lot more to self-destruction than a drinking problem, a drug problem, a gambling problem, a shopping problem, an eating problem, or insatiable sexuality. And a lot of gray area about what actually is self-destructive behavior.

The one that always annoys and confuses me is the trite pop-psych fodder of someone who "loves too much." Or someone who's "too nice." Going on the presumption it's genuine, sincere, heart-felt, the real deal, is it truly possible to love too much or be too nice? I mean, no one takes issue with Ghandi or Mother Theresa or the Dalai Lama*, all of whom, were they not international icons of Doing The Right Thing, would be accused of loving too much or being too nice. But they're universally accepted as: really good people, inspirational people, mere mortals to whom we are all reverential. But when a regular schmoe exhibits behaviors like theirs, the schmoe is viewed as flawed, met with resistance, regarded with disdain and dismissed with Dr. Phil drivel: They love too much; they're too nice.

Loving too much or being too nice are viewed as self-destructive behaviors. I'm pretty sure I will never understand that dichotomy. Why was it okay for Ghandi or Mother Theresa to be nice and love boundlessly, without scorn or psychological analysis and dismissal, but the same feelings and behavior are not "normal" or "stable" when exhibited by the woman you dated three years ago and dumped because she loved you too much, or the guy down the street who's always friendly and there to help his neighbors who's viewed as creepy because he's too nice? This will never make sense to me.

But I don't think I'm in danger of loving too much today. I dunno, though. Maybe. Maybe I'll go out and tell a bunch of strangers on the street that I love them and give them my Pay Pal money. That oughtta get me a one way bus pass to the crazy part of town.

What's your favorite self-destructive behavior that's not typically viewed as a vice?



Also, I need to address an err, atone for an oversight. I did not, and do not, mean to diminish a cancer scare. And I certainly did not mean to diminish or judge people who are battling cancer.  This was my personal issue and response, which has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. I have utmost respect for anyone who is dealing with cancer. If I came off in any way disrespectful or harsh or judgmental I am really, genuinely sorry. That is absolutely not how I feel about anyone other than myself. I know life is precious and most people fight for it and I respect and admire that drive and courage.



*There's gotta be a joke in there somewhere. "Ghandi, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama walk into a bar..."

2:07 PM

 
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