Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Sunday, September 14, 2014  
Like everyone else in the world who has ever used iTunes, I was given the new U2 album. Anyone who's read this blog knows I (also like many other people in the world) have opinions about Bono. Typically, mine are unfavorable opinions about Bono. So. What I'm about to say may come as a surprise. Brace yourself.

Leave Bono alone.

More accurately, leave U2 alone.

Yes, the automatic depositing of their recent release in every iTunes account everywhere is invasive and kinda creepy. Okay, a lot creepy. And the bombastic pomposity meter on this move is in amps at 11 region.

You know, exactly what the entire world expects from Bono.

No one who's been alive with a functioning brain should be surprised by this maneuver from U2. Given the players involved it shouldn't have even raised an eyebrow. This kind of arrogance is business as usual for Bono. It's what we have come to expect from him. The subtext to everything he does is, "Listen to me! DAMMIT, LISTEN TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!" Bono really (really) wants to be heard, and whatever the reason or method, he will make it happen. He will not be denied. He will try to make us listen to him. So why the shock and outrage over an entire U2 album showing up in every iTunes account in the world? The only thing that surprises me is that it didn't happen sooner.

Yes. I still have myriad issues with Bono. But. They have nothing to do the rest of U2 or most of what they do musically. Like many others, my issues with Bono's scoff-worthy behaviors have very little to do with U2's music. And that's my main issue to Bono. My sentiments echo those of the masses: Good for you for being charitable, Bono, do whatever you want when you're not onstage or in the studio. But when you are on tour just shut up and sing. And let your bandmates have a chance to shine once in a while. Without them you are nothing. At least act like you realize that. Even though Bono is the singer in the band, there are many other people involved with the U2 release, and I look at it this way: They are getting heard by the entire iTunes-equipped world, too.

At some point in the next month I will give this new release a listen. And I will delete what I don't like. Would I have given all of the album my ears if it hadn't appeared in my iTunes? Probably not. Okay, of course not.

And therein lies another small shred of respect for U2 Inc.:  Genius marketing. I'm pretty sure no one in that band needs the money sales from the songs would generate. But even if the band is having money troubles, don't worry about them because there will undoubtedly be a $180+ per ticket concert tour that will compensate for the loss of song sales revenue. Meanwhile, loads of people who, like me, would never have listened to more than a few songs (while at a bar), let alone bothered to listen to an entire album, may peruse all the songs. Voila. Marketing baby, marketing.  And I have to tip my hat to that marketing ploy. (There may even be a tax benefit - it's a pretty enormous charity/gift deduction, and/or a loss of revenue deduction. Perhaps Bono's not the guy who comes to mind when you think about deserving tax relief, but business-wise, this is undoubtedly a savvy tax move.)

Then there's my favorite aspect of this: the technology component. People seem surprised that iTunes can "get into" their accounts. If you are not tech-savvy enough to understand how iTunes and the cloud and the internet in general works, you probably shouldn't be using the internet. This is not a scary Orwellian assault. This is an apparently much-needed wake up call to people who don't understand how the internet works. For that reason alone we should thank U2 for demonstrating how not private the internet is. I'm really enjoying the irony that the title of the release is Songs of Innocence. (But I'm hating the homage to Blake - I will take issue with Bono's ego for that.)

Another part of me wants to be charitable to Bono. Maybe, just maybe, Bono had a moment of self-awareness. He's out there going on and on and on (and on) about poverty all the while selling out stadiums where the price of a single ticket is more than the monthly food budget for most Americans. Many of U2's fans cannot afford the tickets to their concerts. Releasing an album and charging $9.99 or $12.99 while you are out there trying to eradicate poverty is more than a little hypocritical. Giving the entire iTunes equipped world an entirely free album is a convenient way to assuage any guilt or uncomfortableness Bono's hypocrisy may be causing him. Yes, another self-serving move, it's sets up a convenient response to the questions regarding his hypocrisy. ("Hey, we gave the entire world a free album, what more do you want from me?") But, it's a move that speaks to at least a shred of self-awareness, and that's a step forward in containing the obvious Napoleon complex that afflicts him, which is a step closer to him shutting up and singing.

But here's the primary reason I'm saying leave Bono alone: I'm a huge music fan. Huge. I have my favorite artists, and if any of my favorite artists give something to fans for free, a download, for instance, I'm excited about it. Of course a free song download is a marketing ploy to generate buzz and entice fans to purchase more songs or the entire release. I know free downloads are not the benevolent gifts that they seem. They are a marketing gimmick. I know this and I still don't care. If the Pixies want to give away something for free, I'm in. I'm already a fan, I already love them, free music from them doesn't change my opinion, I don't love them more or less, but it does make me happy.

So, it was in that mindset that I came to my leave Bono alone stance on the whole invasive iTunes thing. U2 does have fans. Lots of them. For them an entirely free release loaded right onto their iTunes was probably pretty cool. They are probably pretty happy to have new free music from their favorite band.

The rest of us can take 30 seconds to delete it, forget it ever happened, and put our favorite playlist on shuffle.

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10:38 AM

 
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