Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Wednesday, November 09, 2016  
I was hearing and reading a lot about "how do I explain this to my children?" and "what do I say to my children?" This being Trump's election.

Many of the children in question are under the age of eight.

I tried to recall my political mindset prior to my ninth birthday. Sure, I know historically who was in office during those years. But I couldn't remember any personal enthusiasm or disdain for the presidents or candidates or elections during my first eight years of life. I must have been stupid, unaware or apolitical in my early years. But I also can't recall my classmates espousing the merits of a political candidate or president. Electoral college? I'm pretty sure I was only vaguely aware that university was a place you went after high school. To my young (and apparently neophyte brain), the electoral college probably sounded like a place where mayors went to school to learn how to be mayors.

Are young children more politically inclined now? Are these savvy tots debating hot button issues and the pros and cons of the electoral college on the playground? Are red and blue more than colors in their crayon boxes?

When I talked to a friend today, post-election, she broke down sobbing about how she would explain Trump's win to her five year old daughter. I could tell she was having a full-blown ugly cry. "I have to tell her, I- I- I- have (sob) to (sob) tell (sob) her before she goes to (sob) schoo-oo-ool (sob) this afternoon. (sob sob) What am I going to say (sob) to her? How can I (sob sob) explain it to her?"

I saw this friend and her daughter a few weeks ago. The kid was wearing underpants on her head and had a meltdown over the remaining popsicle flavor options. That was the IRL gif going through my head as my friend sank further into an angst-filled sob fest over this latest parenting challenge the election had thrown at her. I struggled to imagine that little girl having an opinion or understanding of the election process and the candidates.

Naively, I suggested, "Um, maybe you just tell her there was a vote all over the country and, just like every four years, we'll have a new president in January?"

My friend felt I was underestimating her child's grasp of the election and what it really means. You know, really means to her as well as society at large.

My friend continued, "She named her new Barbie Hillary so she could play madam president! (sob) How do I break this horrible news to her?"

I made the mistake of asking about Barbie playtime, "Um, couldn't she still call her Barbie Hillary and play madam president? Does the real Hillary's loss remove all possibility of playing madam president with a Barbie doll?"

My friend brushed me off with, "You don't (sob) understand how much (sob) this election means to her!!"

I was honestly confused, "You mean to [your daughter] or to Hillary Clinton? I think I have a pretty good grasp on how much this election meant to Hillary Clinton."

"MY DAUGHTER!! (sob sob)"

Getting a little weary of what I thought was an overreaction, "Um, she's five. She gets a kick out of wearing underpants on her head. She plays with dolls. Because she's five. Does she really have a strong feeling about this election? Maybe you don't really need to tell her much about it. Maybe you answer questions on a need-to-know basis?"

My friend said I don't understand because I don't have children. She said her daughter is very aware of the election and what it means to America. And Hillary's loss is going to crush her five year old's soul and warp her sense of the feminist collective. I kept my mouth shut about how Barbie dolls are probably doing more damage to her child's soul and the feminist collective. I knew this was not the time to have The Barbie Talk. My friend was agonizing over how to "handle" this with her daughter.

The conversation had me wondering just how woefully unaware and stupid I was as a child. So I called my mother.

Here's a transcript of that conversation. I'm posting this as a guide for parents grappling with how to tell their children about Election 2016.

"Hi Mum, how's it going?"

"Boy am I tired, what a night!"

[long and meaningful pause] "Mum?"

"Yes?"

"Have you figured out how you're going to talk to your children about the election?"

[riotous laughter] "I've been worried about that all morning." [more laughter]

"But seriously, mum, I'm curious. I don't remember much about politics or elections or presidents until I was about 10 or 11. Was I really stupid, or unaware, or apolitical until then? Or do I just not remember that part of my childhood?"

"Oh good grief, no, you weren't stupid. I think you were probably a little more aware than some of the other children at school. You always had very good grades in social studies and government."

"Even when I was young?"

"You know your father and I never pushed our politics on you. We believed it was crucial that parents remain objective so their children can grow and develop their own political choices. Nothing worse that someone who votes a particular way simply because it's what their parents did. Religion, too, for that matter. Anything, really."

It's true, I knew this, I remembered this from my later childhood.

"But did you tell me anything about elections or candidates? Did I care?"

"Does any child under the age of eight really care about an election or candidates? Unless they're reciting what their parents told them, or what they overhear at home, I don't believe children that young have enough world knowledge and political understanding to talk politics. Nor do I believe they're naturally interested. Given the choice, children will play or watch cartoons or whatever it is they do on all those gizmos these days."

Bingo.

"So you didn't tell me anything about elections and politics?"

"Of course we did. We taught you the process. We told you to respect all points of view. That was more than enough until you were old enough to grasp issues and the candidates' stances. And even then we worked very hard to keep the conversations objective. Young mind forming and all that. We did not want to sway you with our opinions. Our job was to teach you the process, teach you about the different parties, give you some history, equip you with the tools you need to navigate the process. The rest, the opinion-forming, was up to you. "

"Thanks for that, Mum. I appreciate the effort you put into making sure I developed my own mind. Was I just lucky to be the youngest and the benefactor of trial and error, or did you do the same with [my brother and sister]?"

"Your father and I agreed on this before we were married. We felt that strongly about making sure our children formed their own minds and opinions. We were not interested in creating and controlling miniature versions of ourselves."

"But that's risky, we don't all agree with you."

"Exactly! How boring it would be if the entire family agreed on everything! And what would be the point of creating people only to manipulate them into the same opinions as ours? Why bother creating a family of sycophants? The fun of creating children is learning who they are and helping them develop their unique personalities. Forcing our opinions on you would defeat that."

"What if you felt strongly about a candidate?" 

"We never had that problem. There have been very few candidates we felt strongly about - positive or negative. Some of the candidates certainly concerned us, but not to the point of fear or hostility."

"I don't remember you or dad getting really upset over an election result. Surely you have not liked every president."

"No, but you know us, 'the people have spoken,' and 'this, too, shall pass.' No sense getting worked up over something you can't control. And something that will change in four years. There are good lessons about winning and losing, too. We wanted you to learn to be a gracious winner and gracious loser. So we never got too worked up over election results."

And that's how you "handle" the election with your children.



8:43 PM

 
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