Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
Enter ZIP Code:

or Search by State

Find State Officials
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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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or Search by State





Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


< chicago blogs >





Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Wednesday, September 21, 2005  
Okay, so my wrist and neck are sort of hurting so typing is kind of difficult and painful so, yeah. Hi.

I'm going to break a strict vow and rule I have about these things and post one of those stupid Livejournal surveys someone sent me.

I want you to know this hurts me more than it hurts you.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Trillian
Birthday:
Birthplace:Detroit
Current Location:Chicago
Eye Color:Green
Hair Color:Brown
Height:5'11"
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right/Left (ambidextrous, I know, very telling, this explains sooooo much of what goes on in my brain...)
Your Heritage:Scottish/English/Norwegian
The Shoes You Wore Today:Very high, very black, very expensive. http://www.flickr.com/photos/cameraobscure/36422356/
Your Weakness:A certain man from my past. My cat. Music. Cheese.
Your Fears:Loss of loved ones, terminal poverty and I'm not crazy about poisonous snakes.
Your Perfect Pizza:A little concotion I call: The Man Repeller: Green olives, green peppers, red onions and pineapple. Yes really. Be quiet. You eat your pizza I'll eat mine.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:New job, more money, more travel, no injuries. Marriage.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:Not prone to overusing phrases anywhere. Swut.
Thoughts First Waking Up:Oh swut. Another day.
Your Best Physical Feature:Don't have one. Except maybe my spleen. Yes. My spleen is good. Spleen.
Your Bedtime:Ha!
Your Most Missed Memory:Huh? How can one miss a memory? One has to lose something to miss it, and if one loses a memory one can't remember it so one wouldn't know they've lost it so one can't miss it. Right? Am I misconstruing the question here?
Pepsi or Coke:Never.
MacDonalds or Burger King:Never.
Single or Group Dates:Single. Group. Whatever. I'll take anything I can get.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Never. Iced tea is the work of the devil and an evil plot against humanity.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee:Never. Blech. Gross.
Do you Smoke:Never. Blech. Gross.
Do you Swear:Swut.
Do you Sing:Badly and often.
Do you Shower Daily:Is this another trick question? Seriously, am I missing something here? Yes. I shower daily.
Have you Been in Love:Sadly, yes.
Do you want to go to College:Been there, done that several times, will undoubtedly go again. Hey, it's the one thing I do successfully.
Do you want to get Married:Yes.
Do you belive in yourself:Define "believe." I believe I am a reasonably good person. I believe in my abilities. I believe in my inabilities.
Do you get Motion Sickness:Only when riding in minivans or backwards on trains.
Do you think you are Attractive:No.
Are you a Health Freak:Define "freak."
Do you get along with your Parents:Yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yes.
Do you play an Instrument:Yes.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yesh.
In the past month have you Smoked:Never. Blech. Gross.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Prescription.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Yes.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Mall: No. Shopping: Yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:Never. Blech. Gross.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Never.
In the past month have you been on Stage:Ha! Uh. No.
In the past month have you been Dumped:Not in the past month. Hey! What do you know? It was a good month! I wasn't dumped! I also wasn't in a relationship but hey! At least I wasn't dumped!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:Sadly, no, not in the past month.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Never in any month of my life.
Ever been Drunk:Yesh.
Ever been called a Tease:No.
Ever been Beaten up:Hmmm. Define "beaten up."
Ever Shoplifted:Never.
How do you want to Die:Soon, quickly, cleanly and painlessly.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Yeah, well, still trying to sort that out...chronologically I'm a grown-up but I don't think I qualify by other benchmarks. I suppose really thinking about it, I don't want to fully grow up so I suppose I want to be dead when I grow up. See above.
What country would you most like to Visit:Hmmmmmmmmmm. Too many to list.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:No preference.
Favourite Hair Color:No preference. (Well, Imean, no boy band stupid tiplights.)
Short or Long Hair:Short but none of that head stubble crap. Longish is okay on certain men, too. Mullets: Just say no. I do.
Height:Eh, whatever.
Weight:Eh, whatever.
Best Clothing Style:Huh? As long as it's clean and not tattered or torn, whatever.
Number of Drugs I have taken:None.
Number of CDs I own:Uh, cds? How old is this survey? Haven't cds gone the way of the 8-track? Why not ask how many 78s? Sheesh. Can we talk MP3s? I hear there's a newfangled cinema idea in the works called talkies. Looking foward to those, I wonder if they'll catch on with the public.
Number of Piercings:Not really into it.
Number of Tattoos:Not really into it.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:Regrets are bad and useless. Learn, move on, adapt, evolve.

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11:47 AM

 
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