Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.
Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.
Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero
Tuesday, January 15, 2008 Yo Michelle! Where you at?
Sexism, racism, fascism…whatever. Ism ism this, ism ism that. Enter into a political forum and mud will sling and it will sling in your general ism direction. The candidate for change! Woo hoo. Politics as usual. Blah. Blah. Blah. Wake me when it’s over.
All we are saying is give peace (and quiet) a chance.
Or at the very least can we please stop the intentionally bad grammarism?
Oh sure, it’s “just” politicking, but it’s also a form of pandering and it’s really reached an irritating and intolerable level of ingratiating condescension for me. Or, maybe I should say something like, “sticks in my craw.”
"Ain't no black people in Iowa ," [Michelle Obama] said during a speech at the Trumpet Awards, an event celebrating black achievement. "Something big, something new is happening. Let's build the future we all know is possible.”
Excuuuse me? “Ain’t no” and “Ain’t no black people in Iowa?” What the…? “Ain’t?” Is Boost Mobile a big Obama contributor? "Mobile phones for this campaign provided by Boost Mobile. Where you at? You at your polling place?"
I realize Michelle's just plain ol folks grammar was a crafted intentional grammatical move intended to make Michelle seem more “of the people,” more folksy, more one of us. Or them. Or someone. Or someone else. Or some group.
But I’ve lost track. I don’t know who’s who, who they’re for or against or with our without, cripes I’m not even sure who I am anymore or with which groups I’m supposed to identify. I’ve lost my demographic way. The mud started flinging and I stopped paying attention because even the small shred of issues to which I was clinging fell by the wayside somewhere in Iowa. Or was it New Hampshire? I can’t remember. I’m like a kid caught in the middle of a fight between parents, parents who will soon be divorced. Rocking in a corner, hands over ears singing la la la la la to block out the noise and insults being hurled around the room. Nothing yelled by either parent really matters, because it's all hurtful words of self righteousness. And in the end one or the other will get custody of the kids, the house and the flat screen television. And the kids will get pandered to – both parents will claim to have the kids’ best interests in mind while working on their own agenda. If the kids fit into that agenda, great, if not, oh well. And there will be big disagreements and fights and isms bandied about over that topic. Blah blah blah. Politics as usual from the candidates for change.
However.
I’m not sure I can listen to four or eight years of the First Lady, or the president, dropping ain’t bombs at a rally on the South side while speaking Queen’s English in the rose garden. It's confusing, disorienting, like trying to point out a chameleon to someone. "Ooooo look at that cool lizard!" "Where?" "Right there! There he is, oh wait, no, that's a leaf, oh, there he is! No, wait, that's a rock. There, there he is, there! I think. No. Wait. That's a stick." "Oh whatever, I didn't want to see a cool lizard anyway." "I did, but I lost interest. Wanna order Chinese?"
What some people call charisma, I calling acting. What some people call acting, I call lying. What some people call lying, I call hypocrisy. So this one minute all educated and intelligent and articulate, the next minute all down home normal folk who don't talk so good is leaving me confused and wondering what's real. "Ain't no bad grammar in the Ivy League." (actually, double negative implication aside, I'm guesing there is bad grammar in the Ivy League, stemming from ignorance as well as for contrived affect.)
I thought I would welcome anyone, anyone at all in the White House after Dub. The bizarre speech and grammar patterns (patterns? I don’t know what else to call them…) used to make me cringe. But I cringed so much that I developed a permanent wince and then I started getting headaches so I learned to hear only every third word. It helps. Kind of like Morse Code. Really. It’s a lot more tolerable when you trick yourself into thinking he’s speaking in code.
I mean, I didn’t think it was possible for it to get any worse than Dub. And hey, at least Laura speaks (usually) grammatically correct.
Dub is stupid. Lacking fully functioning gray matter.
What’s Michelle Obama’s excuse?
Oh. Right. Campaigning. Out there in the trenches with the people. She’s one of us. Or one of them. Or someone else, maybe those people over there. I dunno. I don’t say “ain’t” or “ain’t no” or “ain’t no black people in Iowa.” So I guess I’m not one of them, whoever they are. I guess she’s not talking to me. Odd, though, because I'm one of her senator husband's constituents. If she's talking to anyone it should be me, and if she's representing a group while she's "out there," I should be part of that group. For the record: Not everyone in Illinois, in particular Senator Obama's jurisdiction, says things like "ain't no." But then not everyone is out on a presidential campaign trail.
See, that’s what you get with a Princeton and Harvard education. You learn how and when to speak your native language improperly so as to not seem too high falootin’ when it’s not to your social or political advantage to be talkin’ all Booji. Still, it seems fickle and a little ill advised to alienate a bunch of people, especially when some of those people are from your home state and there’s a primary coming up in a few weeks. But then I didn’t graduate from Princeton or Harvard so it’s probably way over my head. But then, in that case, shouldn’t I be all “right on, Michelle” with the “ain’t no” comment? See? I’m confused. I lost the plot. And apparently my demographic identity. Sheesh, no wonder I've been feeling so off my game lately.
I know I was taught to speak my native tongue properly. I know I’m lucky in that regard. I know I had advantages. But. So did Michelle. She made it into Princeton and Harvard, clearly she had some kind of advantage somewhere along the line to make it into the Ivy League not once but twice. And I’m guessing proper grammar was required. So why the just plain ol po folk who use ain't and double negatives schtick?
Oh right. It’s politically advantageous.
The thing is, though, it’s fickle. I just scratch my head confused and think, “Michelle, Michelle, where you at?”
I know, I know, I’m picking on poor Michelle and there’s a wealth of material laid out before us from candidates.
Can’t we all just get along?
Yeah, sure, okay. I’ll pick on someone else. Eventually.
But I have a pressing issue for my senator who just happens to be campaigning for a spot on the presidential election ballot. I, along with thousand of other Chicagoans, many of whom are in Obama's senatorial turf, have a potentially serious problem. An immediate problem. A problem we have to face next week, not next November. The bus routes (yes, plural) we rely on to get to and from work are slated to be cut next week.
Senator? Yoo hoo?! Senator Obama? One of your constituents would like to ask a few questions.
What have you done for your Illinois constituents? I’m trying to remember, grasping, trying to come up with something. Um, have you heard about the, heh heh, little issue with public transit here in Illinois? Whooooeeee, the debates are getting hotter than a New Hampshire presidential primary in January! Senator, what, in exact terms, ideas do you have? Or, if you don’t have any good ideas, and really, I understand, public transportation isn’t exactly a forte of yours, so, forget ideas, what do you think about the state of public transportation in Chicago? What are your thoughts on the budget, the proposed cuts, the increased fares and the CTA in general? Have you ever ridden a CTA bus or train, and I don’t mean a campaign trek around the Loop, I mean have you ever, really, truly, ridden the CTA? Have you ever had to depend on it to get to work?
And finally, dude, where you at on the clean energy issue? I notice you didn’t vote on the Renewable Fuels, Consumer Protection, and Energy Efficiency Act of 2007 in December. Yeah. Uh-oh. Guess you didn't know I knew about that, huh? Well, I actually do try to keep on top of what's going on in the world and how my elected officials are voting and not voting to change or not change the world. Or at least the country. Or at least where "we" live.* Maybe you knew it would pass and your vote wouldn't be missed. Still, there were only six of you who didn't deem it necessary to vote on this Act. Everyone else, all 94 of 'em showed up to vote. Interesting to note you have something in common with Ms. Clinton and Mr. McCain: They didn't vote on this Act, either. What's that saying about birds of a feather? See? You candidates are not so different after all.
Maybe you don’t want to get involved with those kinds of issues, energy, fuel sources, conservation, whooooo boy, that's mighty close to Al Gore's turf. Maybe you thought he had global warming and pollution under control what with the Oscar and the Nobel and all. Maybe that’s why public transportation and its impact on your constituents (and the environment) isn’t of any concern to you. Ain’t no bus commuters in your jurisdiction? Maybe you don’t see a problem with all of us buying cars and driving to work due to the CTA cuts. “More cars on the roads, so what? Cars are more fuel efficient now, people can buy hybrids, or ride a bike to work if they care about air pollution and what not,” eh, Barack? Har har. It was a yes or no vote. These are yes or no questions. Where you at?
*You can do this, too! It's easy! You can receive emails telling you how your elected officials vote! Cool, huh? It totally rocks. I know! I know! You didn't realize ol Trill was so political. Yeah, well, shucks. I try to keep it off the blog. I assume all of you are politically capable and aware, too, so there's no need to discuss it here.
