Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

Find State Officials
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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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or Search by State





Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Thursday, April 10, 2008  
If you would like to:

Learn to Recognize Animal Cruelty;
Report Animal Cruelty;
Set a Good Example for Others;
Fight for the Passage of Anti-Cruelty Laws by Joining the ASPCA Advocacy Brigade;

then for crying out loud, go take the pledge to help animals. If you're not sure if you're ASPCA Pledge material I have two words for you: Michael Vick. How do those two words make you feel? Right. See? You are ASPCA Pledge material.

It doesn't cost anything (unless you can put a price on helping fight animal cruelty) and takes about 20 seconds (depending on how fast you can type your name and zip code). Today is the perfect day to take the pledge! Why today? Because April 10 is ASPCA Day in the US. If you notice more orange than usual, the reason may be ASPCA. Many cities are showing support by illuminating buildings in orange light. You can bask in an orange glow to show support, too! Wear orange, put an orange collar or lead on your dog or cat, make orange cookies and take them to work, change your porch light bulb to an orange bulb, or tie an orange ribbon somewhere outside your home. Sure, people will talk, but that's a good thing. Talking about animals and advocating for them is a good thing. Pointing friends and neighbors to the ASPCA Pledge is a good thing, too.

Still uncertain why you should bother to take the ASPCA Pledge? Well, maybe you are actually Michael Vick in which case you're at the wrong blog. Or maybe you think it means you have to go out and rescue animals and you have those pesky allergies and that abject paranoia of cats and a busy schedule. I understand. But taking the Pledge doesn't mean you have to go out and rescue animals in need. 1,000,000 "signatures" on the Pledge will give the ASPCA and its reps in DC the backing power for future legislation issues concerning animal safety and cruelty issues.

Here's a real life example: Currently in Illinois there is a heated debate raging about double decker transport trailers (usually used for cows or pigs) being used for horses. It's incredibly unsafe for horses to be in double decker trailers. 1) Many horses sustain life threatening/fatal external and internal injuries while in those trailers, and 2) there have been numerous horrific accidents which resulted in serious injury and death to humans and horses because of these trailers. (They're the 1999 - 2002 Ford Explorer of animal transport trailers) Seems like a no-brainer, right? Just ban the things and arrest anyone caught doing this. Well, hold your horses, there buckaroo, not so fast. There are actually people lobbying to defeat this legislation. Why? Because they want to transport as many horses as possible at one time - it saves them from making more than one trip. Sure, they save gas, and we're all for the environment and fewer trips and less emissions is a good thing. But. This is a case where the means doesn't justify the end. Too many horses and people have been killed or seriously injured to make "saving gas emissions" a viable reason to continue to allow the double decker practice.

"Okay, Trill, sheesh, okay, poor horses, that's awful. You live in a stupid state with stupid legislators. That doesn't explain why I should take this pledge."

Yes it does. When the ASPCA has 1,000,000 people pledging to help animals, ASPCA reps then have 1,000,000 "voices" backing them when they make their case on the Senate, House or courtroom floor, be it at the local, state or federal level. They will have the right to say, "The ASPCA has 1,000,000 people who pledge to help animals. Animal cruelty is not something 1,000,000 people will tolerate. Do you want those 1,000,000 in your in-box calling you Michael Vick's best friend? Right. Of course not. So vote for animal safety."

Get it? It's the power of a quiet mass of concerned people who take the time to speak up for animals. By pledging you are advocating for animals and animal legislation. Yes, by taking the pledge you are part of something really big and really important.

Pledge to Fight Animal Cruelty

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9:10 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2008  
I swear I'm not a Simpsons blogger. I swear. Really.

But. This is too um, interesting, to not share.

I've never really yearned to go to Venezuela. So not a huge deal that I have to cross it off the list of places to visit. It's not that they banned the Simpsons, it's that they banned the Simpsons and replaced them with Baywatch. The Simpsons is a "bad influence" for kids, they say, but apparently it's a-okay for Venezuelan kiddies to see Pam Anderson's silicon running, nipples protruding from a thin barely there "bathing suit," in slow motion. Then again, Venezuela is known for producing a lot of beauty pageant first place tiara winners. So perhaps Baywatch is better, or at least more culturally relevant, for the little ones than the Simpsons.

Sigh. This gives me multiple sadgasms. Even if it is just Venezuela, it's still sad.






But on a brighter note, 20 more days until I may be unemployed! Woo hoo! Oh sure, that's sad, but it'll give me lots of free time to prepare for the concert event of the year. No, not Lollapalooza, the Flight of the Conchords! Oh sure, I may be unemployed and my home may be in foreclosure in a couple months, but that's not going to stop me from seeing New Zealand's 4th most popular folk parody duo live! See? Life(?) isn't all bad.

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9:39 PM

 
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