Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Saturday, June 20, 2015  
After my father died I dreaded and hated Father's Day. I had a Father's Day related grief meltdown in Target. I avoid retail establishments as much as possible from the day after Mother's Day until the end of June. I know avoidance isn't the best way of dealing with an emotional (or any) problem. So, this year I decided to confront the Father's Day retail season. I've been to Target twice during the Father's Day season. I took deep breaths, summoned emotional courage and walked into Target. And the greeting card aisle in Walgreens. And I had to return a skirt for my mother at Macy's. These are heavy hitters of merchandising and display and I faced them. I confronted my grief. 

I like to think my dad would be proud that I finally took this step to confront my emotional hurdles. My dad was like that: He dealt with stuff head on. He didn't let things fester. Some of that is because dads have to deal with stuff head on, at least in my family. My dad was the one who dealt with broken things that required immediate repair or replacement. Plumbing, cars, anything wired - things we needed daily - those were my father's responsibility. If something broke he sprang to action. He had to spring to action because a family with three kids and a plumbing problem is unpleasant. He had to confront problems or things would only get much (much) worse. 

A coworker was talking about a broken car problem a few weeks ago. I said, "Yes, AAA is good, but it's times like these a dad is really handy to have around." She laughed and said her father was useless. Useless. I'm not sure if she meant useless with cars or useless in general. It felt a little uncomfortable, she seemed to have some father contempt, so I just said,"Oh, well, thank goodness for AAA!" 

Her offhand description of her father stuck with me. My father was not always perfect, but, one word I could never use to describe my father is useless. My father was the opposite of useless. But I don't like to think of my dad in terms of usury. 

I know not everyone is fortunate enough to have a great dad. I feel really, really sorry for those people. They have to face life with an unfortunate disadvantage. 
 
Life isn't always easy for me, I've had some difficult stuff to handle. But. No matter how bad the situation I have one reconciliation: I won the parent lottery. When it comes to life factors I hit the mega million jackpot with my parents. People like my coworker, who describe their father's with adjectives like "useless" don't have the advantages I had. 

He wasn't a good dad. He was a great dad. 
 
Here's what we get when we are lucky enough to have been given great fathers. 
 
We get wisdom, joy, firm but fair discipline, unwavering support, the secret to riding a two wheeler and tricks for memorizing multiplication tables. 
 
We get the toys our mothers deem too dangerous or expensive and the explanations for all things mechanical, athletic and scientific. 
 
We get gently coaxed into the deep end of the pool and we get bedtime stories narrated in deep, funny voices. 
 
We get the pronunciation and proper use of swear words and the importance of a firm but not creepy handshake. 
 
We get stern warnings about fire, force and speed and lessons in how to use tools and why it's important to take care of them. 
 
We get yelled at when we lash out in teenage anger, and we get forgiveness 10 minutes later. 
We get introduced to the mysteries of outer space through fact and fiction. 
 
We get to listen to Elvis, Bo Diddley and Ronnie Hawkins. On the way to church. And we learn the importance of a decent set of speakers and a quality amplifier. 

We learn that sometimes presents are brought home from business trips. And sometimes they're not.
We get an extra $20 surreptitiously slipped to us on our way out the door and a sly "don't tell your mother" glance. 

We get Barbie Dream Houses constructed and waiting for us on Christmas morning, and we get a lecture on the importance of taking care of things and not carelessly breaking them. 
 
We get long summer evenings around the backyard barbecue, and longer winter nights at the kitchen table going over homework until we get it right.

We get picked up from school dances and a ride home without having to talk about what happened at the school dance. 
 
We get an understanding that true bravery has nothing to do with wrestling bears or shooting guns. 
 
We get shoulder rides when we're little, and we get jocular pats on the back and hugs so tight and enveloping it gets hard to breathe for a few seconds when we're too big to sling up on shoulders.  
 
We get the threat of being disowned if we ever so much as consider skipping an oil change every six months or take the batteries from the flashlight and use them in the portable radio. 
 
And we get to always, always feel safe. 
 
We come out ahead in the deal, especially since we did absolutely nothing to earn any of that except to arrive screaming into his world, demanding his time, knowledge and money. 
 
Here's the problem with great dads: You also get the emptiness and loneliness when they're gone.

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