Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Friday, December 06, 2013  
Sadly, I can now attest that polar bearing, aka the Knockout Game, is real, happening more frequently than is being reported and is undeniably race related.

It pains me to admit all of those facts. I don't want any of it to be true.

But.

My niece spent the night in ER after being jumped from behind, held by her hair and strangled to the point she was struggling to breathe, thrown to the ground, kicked in the head and...not mugged. Clumps of her hair were pulled from her scalp. She was carrying a backpack with an iPad, cell phone, brand new still in packaging MAC lipsticks and eye shadows she'd just purchased for holiday gifts, $22 in cash and several high denomination gift cards she received for her birthday - paydirt for robbers, even better than credit cards - and none of it was stolen. The iPad and MAC cosmetics fell out of her backpack as she struggled while being strangled. They were left on the ground a few feet away from where my niece landed when she fell to the ground. Lest you think "guys don't care or know about the value of MAC cosmetics and wouldn't bother to steal them," here's the disturbing and puzzling part: Her attacker was a teenaged girl. Teenaged girls of all races know and covet MAC cosmetics. And iPads, for that matter. But they didn't steal anything of cash value from niece.

This attack happened at 3:00 in the afternoon in a safe and busy part of a small town bordering a college campus. Police were on foot patrol just a block away. Fortunately it was only a few seconds before two older women realized what happened to my niece and came to her aid and called 911.

My niece heard young girls giggling behind her as she walked on the sidewalk. It was around the time a local high school is dismissed for the day she didn't think anything about it. Then she heard them yell, in unison, "Polar Bear!" and seconds later her she was in a stranglehold with a girl pulling her hair and saying, "your hair ain't gonna be pretty no more." She heard the other girls giggling and cheering on her attacker in the distance. Her attacker said other things to her through laughs and taunts as she strangled my niece and pulled her hair, but my niece was more focused on fighting off the attacker than the taunts being said to her. The terms snow bunny and Barbie were used, and not in complimentary ways.

The police told her they are lots of surveillance cameras that undoubtedly captured the attack, so hopefully the girls will be recognizable and some justice can (and will) be served. The police told my niece she's the third young woman to be similarly attacked in the area in the past few weeks. The victims are not robbed. Their hair is pulled from behind, they're strangled, thrown to the ground and kicked while a group in the distance laughs and taunts.

My niece will be okay, she's bruised and has scalp wounds where her hair was pulled out in clumps, but obviously she's shaken and scared. Which is the attackers' desired result and purpose of the attacks. It is violence for the sake of violence. Putting aside the racial epithets indicating race motivation, the attackers were women. Young girls. Getting a laugh out of attacking another women. Were they really so envious of my niece's hair (which is gorgeous) that they were moved to physical violence? Can that really be happening?

Part of me wants to get to the bottom of it, understand the motivation, pinpoint the issues that led to these girls' thirst for violence and lack of regard for life. Understanding leads to resolution, right? The other part of me doesn't care about these girls, their homelife, their social, familial and cultural challenges, what video games they play, television shows and music they like. Why such a callous, unenlightened attitude? Because they chose violence as a form of entertainment. End of discussion.

Yes, I'm obviously angry. This is my always cheerful niece who is generous and kind, and, ironically, is taking classes in child development because she wants to help at risk junior high school kids. So far she's too stunned to think about that irony or reevaluate her plans. Given her compassionate and sunny nature I doubt she will let this alter her outlook or plans.

For the record, my niece is street smart and savvy. She doesn't dress flamboyantly or wear headphones or text when she's out and about. She did the things we're told to do when out in public: be alert and aware. She wasn't "asking for it."

I'm relaying all of this as a warning to anyone who thinks reports of these attacks are exaggerated, or that it won't happen to them, or in their town or to anyone they know.

9:02 AM

 
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