Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Monday, November 05, 2007  
Greetings from Vacation Paradise!
Hey! Wanna see photos of my vacation?!

I had a blast! And it’s the kind of vacation which has a lasting impression. The memories and feelings from this vacation will stay with me and carry me through the coming months.

Day 5
Here I am enjoying the spa facilities.

Nothing like a cold ice pack on pillows to help you relax and really get in the vacation spirit. And after ice treatments, a nice hot shower.
Getting Better at This...



















My New Wheels
Oh and look, here I am having fun wheeling around and getting into all kinds of holiday trouble! Honk honk! Look out Lance Armstrong! There’s a new name in racing...









Hello, Lover

And what’s a vacation without cutting loose and getting buzzed?! No responsibilities, not a care in the world. Relax and imbibe in a a little something to take off the edge. Just chill out and let go of the inhibitions. Free your mind and your ass will follow. A little courage from a bottle and you're a dancing fool, but that's okay because you're on vacation and that's what you're supposed to do! Macarena anyone? Feeling hot, hot, hot!
What's Idolene?














Self Help from the Master
After a night of partying there's nothing like kicking back and catching up on your reading when you’re on vacation. I always like to take in a classic or a self-help book, you know, think deep with a master author or expand your awareness, learn something, introspect, all that self-help with a guru book stuff is so much easier to digest when you're on vacation and away from the demands, reality and negativity of every day life. All those "anything is possible!" platitude messages and obvious step-by-step plans somehow seem more credible and less trite when you're on vacation. And still a little buzzed from last night's party.












Indulging in a Fantasy
Something about being away from work for a few days always charges up the fantasy sector of my brain. Maybe it’s the freedom from everyday responsibilities and monotony, maybe it’s the days filled with nothing but my own desires and needs, whatever the reason, indulging in wild fantasies with reckless abandon is a great way to spend vacation.









Boredom Hits
The thing is, though, I have difficulty truly relaxing for any length of time. Maybe if I were with someone it would be different. I don’t remember having this problem when I used to date and go on vacation with friends and boyfriends. You know, it’s fun to have fun, but when there’s no one to share it, no one to laugh and talk with about your experiences, it gets kind of lonely. Now I find I get bored on vacation after a few days.







Sooner or Later Your Mind Goes Numb and the Next thing You Know You're Watching Oprah and You Have No Idea How You Got There
I swore it would never happen to me. And it hasn’t ever happened to me. It’s never taken any resisting of urges on my part. I’ve had zero interest and zero temptation. But I suppose it happens to the best of us. And I’m guessing it happens to a lot of people who never admit it happens to them. Sooner or later you find yourself in front of the television in drug induced stupor watching Oprah. I dunno. It started out innocently enough. I turned on the morning news to catch up with what’s going on in the world outside my vacation paradise, one thing led to another, I came-to sprawled out on the couch and there she was.

Sorry to brag and make you envious of my vacation. Rest assured it will end too soon. I’ll have to return to work long before I’m really ready (though watching Oprah! is probably a good indication that I’m ready to go back to work). Vacations are never long enough. You always think, “Just a couple more days and I would have really felt relaxed/away from it all/in touch with my inner self/less suicidal…” But alas, like a bittersweet romance, it always ends too soon. Besides, with the holidays right around the corner I need to save my vacation days. I have to choose. I could spend a couple more days relaxing in my vacation paradise, or I could spend a couple days with my family at Christmas. What to do, what to do…

3:49 PM

 
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