• Dr. Who  One TARDIS and/or Dalek, that's all we ask, just one TARDIS moment. Dancers clad in Tom Baker scarves. Something, anything. I held out hope to the bitter end. I honestly thought (hoped and even prayed) that just before the torch was turned off they'd blast, "Exterminate! Exterminate" over the PA. But no. (There is no God.) They opted for dignified silence instead. Pfft. Whatever. Nerds the world over would have rejoiced but whatever, England. And no, the Tim Berners-Lee moment at the opening ceremony was not "enough" to placate us.
• Speaking of nerds, Stephen Hawking   I realize he's not the first person who comes to mind when you think of feats of athletic skill and daring, but, he's the coolest thing to happen to physics in the UK since Isaac Newton, and he's recognized the world over. One might presume they would give him a couple minutes of air time, but nope. I would let this slide because it's an athletic event and Hawking's sport is solving mysteries of the universe with nothing but his brain, but, a) the idiotic and way too long models segment of the closing ceremony ("Hmmmm, Kate Moss....Stephen Hawking...Kate Moss...Stephen Hawking...hmmmm, this is a toughie, smartest man in the universe, cocaine/heroin addict...Hawking...Moss...gotta go with Kate Moss because it ties into the Bowie segment.") and b) the Paralympics. Also taking place in England. Maybe it happened and NBC just didn't let us see it. But I suspect not. This was a great opportunity to give respect to the Paralympics and the most intelligent person in the known universe, who happens to be from England.
• Gilbert and Sullivan  It's remotely possible Annie Lennox's performance was a stylized homage to Pirates of Penzance. But that's a reach.
• Helena Bonham Carter  Yeah, I know. That one just occurred to me, too. You wouldn't think England would pass up the opportunity to show off their Princess of Period Dramas, but that seems to have been the case. Though it's possible she just blended in with some of the performers at the opening or closing ceremony and went unrecognized. 
• Jackie Stewart  It's a great day for a motor car race! I would have love, love, loved Jackie Stewart as a commentator for at least one event. I know, I know, car racing isn't an Olympic event. But. C'mon, it's Jackie Stewart. "It's a great day for a bicycle race!" "It's a great day for a cross country race!" Admit it, you would have loved it, too. 
• Crop Circles  This was an especially huge missed opportunity at the opening ceremony where sod was laid and a tor was built. Regardless of the origin, crop circles are as English as bad teeth. At the very least, how about patterning crop circles on the LCD panels in the arena? Sure, they'd only be seen from areal long shots, but great graphic opportunities with crop circles were missed.
• The Prisoner Yes, this would have been a huge stretch and I didn't really expect to see an ode to Number 6 at the opening or closing ceremony. But. There were plenty of opportunities for a couple seconds of homages, and The Prisoner has a lot from which to choose, like Rover (hovering above the arena!), a Penny-farthing (riding in the velodrome!) or even Patrick McGoohan's Lotus (pulling up to Wembley!).  
• The Origin of the Union Jack   I'm certain I must have just missed this trivia moment. There's no way they wouldn't mention the history of the Union Jack. Right? Right?! I just missed the Union Jack trivia moment, right? There were loads of opportunities, like the opening and closing ceremonies and every time the flag was raised at a medals ceremony? They wouldn't snub Scotland and Ireland completely, would they? Would they?
• Cambridge, Oxford, Exeter, St. Andrews, Cardiff, so on and so forth...  The UK's universities and colleges are legendary, time honored and respected all over the world. There were a few mentions of universities if an athlete attended one of them, but c'mon, many of the athletes competing in Olympic events are students. Universities are actually relevant to the many of the participants and the home viewing audience.
• David Attenborough  Another missed opportunity for brilliant cross-over commentating.
• Golf   I hear golf is going to be an exhibition sport in Rio. Huge, embarrassing missed opportunity for whomever is responsible for exhibition sports. Rio? Really? When you had a perfectly good Olympic Games in London, which is in the UK, which is where golf swutting originated. There has to be some conspiracy at play here. Maybe this is Scotland's way of getting back at England for the whole Jacobite thing. Maybe Scotland paid off the IOC to postpone the golf exhibition until Rio, you know, out of spite and to ensure that England wouldn't try to take credit for golf during the London games. Imagine the London Olympic Committee, visions of St. Andrews dancing in their heads, proudly submitting their preliminary plan to the IOC which included a coup de gras ta-dah! moment of offering up St. Andrews for the golf exhibition and being told by the IOC, "Oh, ooops, didn't get the forms in on time, darn, we'll have to showcase golf in Rio instead of at the London games. Oh, that is a shame. It would have been so appropriate to showcase golf in the UK, what with Scotland being the birthplace of golf and all. Sorry, London. Maybe you could organize a game of croquet for one of the after parties instead." 

"But it's only a 14 day event! We can't possibly showcase all the glories of the UK in 14 days! We had to pick and choose and get copyright permissions and after we spent all our budget on the arena and penis mascot costumes we couldn't afford to pay the performers or guests much, so we had to take who we could get, which was anyone feeling charitable and with a loose (or no) contract with their holding company or so desperate for publicity they'd work for free or almost nothing!" I know. Which explains:
George Michael
The models
Jessie J

And the effigy of John Lennon made of what appear to be salvaged pieces of styrofoam probably ate a big chunk out of the budget. But while they were at the styrofoam scrap outlet, did it never occur to anyone that they could pick up a couple extra pieces and make a giant Stonehenge? A giant dancing styrofoam Stonehenge would be trite, tacky and pointless, you say? I agree. But, uh, did you happen to notice the giant dancing styrofoam John Lennon face?

But yes, I know. Pick and choose, time issues, budget issues, copyright issues, I get it. (Does Yoko Ono own the copyright to John Lennon's face? If so, did she donate the use of his face to the Olympic games or to London or to the IOC?) It costs money and takes time to put on a show like this. I know. And better to walk the middle ground and avoid political or controversial topics. I understand. (Though...erm, England, speaking of controversy, you do know that George Michael has been arrested for sex and drug offenses, right? I'm going with the assumption that George's performances at the closing ceremony were part of his community service for one or many of his sex/drug offenses.) 

But. Darts, the Magna Carta and Stonehenge can easily be represented, you know, conceptually. Woven into the graphics or even spotlighted for 3 minutes for a little local color and history. Maybe they used all their graphic and production time and budget on the logo and had to throw the rest of it together at the last minute without much money. But even so, darts? Stonhenge? The Magna Carta??? One of the most significant (if not the most significant) document in the free world? Nothing? Maybe NBC's never heard of the Magna Carta. It happened before WWII so Tom Brokaw doesn't care about it and therefore it's not worthy of a presentation like the yet-another-milking-of-the-Greatest Generation Saturday night. WWII sucked. We know. The History Channel has been covering it almost daily for 17 years. I don't think five or ten minutes spent on the Magna Carta is asking too much, especially since there's a high likelihood much of the home viewing audience doesn't know what the Magna Carta is and why it's significant. (Note to self, convince Tom Brokaw to write a book called, "The Greatest Document" because apparently the only way to educate Americans is to have Tom Brokaw give the history lesson.)


I do have to give credit where it's due. For all the missed opportunities, I am glad the London Olympic Committee (and/or) NBC opted to stay away from references to or performances by:

• Are You Being Served
• Eastenders
• Downton Abbey
• Simon Cowell
• Any of the Osbournes
• Benny Hill
• Duran Duran
• Robbie Williams
• Fox hunting
• Jousting
• Pottery/china/crystal/anything exported from the UK and sold on QVC
• Awful food (Jellied eels, anyone? With Spotted Dick for dessert?)