And as we round the corner into the final stretch of End of Days,
Honda insults women by offering a gender specific car...available in pink or colors that "match eye shadow."
What, no rhinestones or Hello Kitty graphics?
The mere name is proof that we're all doomed: "She's."
She is...what? ...a bimbo? ...easily swayed by gender marketing? ...lacking self respect, self esteem and self awareness? ...driving a stupid car? ...grammatically challenged?
I presume they wanted to convey the idea of "hers" without actually conjuring images of his and hers bath towels from the '50s. But in the process they created one of the most ambiguous car names to roll off an assembly line.
I'm struggling to imagine a conversation between me and another woman wherein one of us says, "Ohmygosh, I want one of those new She's so badly!" Or even (and I tried this), "Have you seen the new She's?"
That conversation went like this: "Hi Friend, how are you?"
"Okay. Looks like the transmission is gone on the Bug."
"Bummer. Are you going to fix it?"
"Nah. We're going to replace it, something small again, you know, easy on gas, something for errands around town."
"Have you seen the new She's?"
"What?"
"The Honda She's."
silence
silence
Finally my friend probed, "Who's what?"
"Honda has a new car, it's basically a Fit. She's."
silence
silence
Friend probing again, "She's what?"
"A Fit. A She's basically a Fit but '
for women.'"
"Oh crap. Another Maytag Minivan?"
"No, it's a Fit. It's a compact."
"What's it called?"
"She's."
silence
silence
Friend probing, "She's what?"
"The name of the car is She's."
"Cheese?"
"Yeah, it's really cheesy."
"What's it called?"
"She's"
silence
silence
Friend probing, "...she's what, Trill?"
"The name of the car is She's."
"Huh?"
You get the idea. The conversation deteriorated quickly.
The last time I wanted a pink car was when I was six, and I didn't even want it for myself, I wanted it for my Malibu Barbie and her friends. And even where the Barbie gang was concerned, by the time I was 8 I wanted them to drive a silver or black car. Pink was passe, for little girls just entering the Barbieforce. I was more mature, then, and I wanted my Barbies' transportation to reflect that.
As for matching eye shadow (or lip gloss or blush or shoes...), while I
have seen some beguiling shades of makeup that
might translate well onto a car, I'm pretty sure I don't want my car to match my makeup or vice-versa. The resulting camouflage situation is too weird. "Watch how my eyelids seem to disappear when I stand next to my car!"
I'm reasonably certain this is an ironic coincidence (I want to believe.): The Fit logo is reminiscent of the classic FDS logo. (Guys who don't know, FDS is a feminine deodorant spray. Yes. It's a tampon-sized aerosol specifically manufactured for, and marketed to, women who want to deodorize their vulvas. Not to be confused with douches, FDS is sprayed on topically, not blasted internally.) I've never understood why a woman would need or want to use FDS. Regular showering and basic hygiene has always kept things on the up and up down there for me,
even on those days when I'm not-so-fresh. I keep thinking I'll turn some corner in my womanhood where I'll understand the purpose and need for FDS. I keep worrying that one day I'll notice an odor emanating from my lady region and wonder, "What the...? I just took a shower! Uh-oh, better get a vile of FDS!" And it's not a subject us gals discuss so I have no idea when to expect this rite of passage. Or at least the gals I know don't discuss it, nor would I ask them. I presume there are women out there who buy FDS because they keep making it and stores continue to stock it, but I'll never know if I know a woman who needs/buys it. And that's just as it should be. I truly do not want to know what's going on odor-wise in my friends' vulvas. The similarity between the FDS logo design and color scheme and the Fit logo is fitting because the She's seems as mysteriously superfluous as FDS. I don't know a woman who would drive one, and even if one of my friends had one they'd never admit it. Like FDS, hey'd hide it and never discuss it, keep it a dirty little secret.
And I'm not bothered just for the "this sets women back at least 60 years" aspect. While I appreciate anything that blocks UV rays and offers air conditioning, since when are these female-specific concerns? I've never known a guy who was all, "Bring on the UV rays, woohoo! Magnify the glare through untreated glass! Let's set up a napalm sunrise environment in the driver's seat and get rolling down the highway! And air conditioning? It's for women and whimps! I don't want air conditioning in my car!" Men may not be as
cosmetically concerned about UV rays, but most people, regardless of their gender, are aware of and concerned about melanoma. The special extra UV blocking glass is only for women? Guys, I'd be crying foul if I were you. This is discrimination. Ditto the Plasmacluster air conditioning. (Is it just me, or does Plasmacluster sound like something you don't want to hear your doctor say to you. "I'm sorry to tell you this, your test results show there's a plasmacluster blocking oxygen from your left lung. You have two weeks to live and then the plasmacluster will spread and suffocate you." Or maybe something from a bad sci-fi made-for-television movie from the '70s. "Dirk, there's a plasmaluster headed straight for the Andromeda Nebula." "No! Not Andromeda! Karen's ship is docked there! We must stop the plasmacluster before it hits Karen's ship!")
I don't mind the "strong enough for a man,
but made for a woman" concept in deodorant, but the implication that us chicks need or want a small, cute, delicate car is insulting.
I know, I know, there are lots of women who will love this car. Women who will use rhinestone encrusted Hello Kitty keychains to hold the keys to their She's. Women who talk in syrupy baby-talk voices. Women whose career aspirations don't extend beyond moving up from receptionist to shift manager at the tanning salon. Women who want their car to match their eye shadow. Women who don't understand that She's a contraction of she is. Women who don't know what a contraction is. And you know, fine, whatever, rock on, sisters, enjoy your car.
The mere concept of a car "for women" insults me, but I am not the female driving audience Honda is trying to reach. So my feelings about the car and its concept are moot.
But.
Honda, can you please give it a different name?
