Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.
Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.
Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero
Thursday, November 30, 2006
High seas adventure, looting, killing, stealing, raping, wenches, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, why yes, it is the pirate life for you? Well, swash your buckle over to CBS and sign up for their latest casting call.
The screening process is rigorous. You have to choose between Long John Silver, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, The Lone Ranger and Batman and Robin as characters to whom you relate. Um. Batman and Robin are one character? This must be a trick question. Maybe they're trying to figure out if an applicant has multiple personality disorder. And why two Star Wars characters? Is there a Star Wars pirate fantasy connection? Do Star Wars geeks also tend to fancy themselves as pirates? I find it interesting there's no mention of Captain Jack Sparrow as an identifiable character for an applicant to a pirate themed reality show. I'm guessing there are a lot of men who watch Mr. Depp and think, "Hey! I could do that! I wish I had that role! I'm exactly like John Depp!"
You also have to list your skill level in: Swimming, Follwing Maps, Sailing, Fishing and Trekking.
And your pirate name. Yes. You have to list your pirate name.Though they're generously allowing applicants to "make one up," you know, just in case you haven't actually been given a pirate name thus far in your life. What concerns me is that I am quite certain there are people who do have a pirate name.
Well, thar she blows, shiver ye timbers and knock ye selves out, I'm off to walk the plank.
8:53 AM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I like words. A lot of words are in my head. Most of them serve a purpose. Most of them are good. Some of them are funny. Some of them are crude. Some of them are spelled weird. Some of them sound weird. I am assaulted by thousands of them every day. I don’t like all of them. In fact I don’t like quite a lot of them. Some of them are vulgar or mean. But they serve a purpose and have a place in vocabulary – not to be written or spoken, but to be understood so that when I read or hear those words I know the person who wrote or spoke them is probably someone I want to avoid. Communication rocks.
But. Never, ever, does that word occupy space in my head. And I don’t think I’m too unusual in that regard. At least I’ve always given the benefit of doubt to most other people in that regard.
Which is why I’ve never understood why it’s “okay” for some people to use the word. I have firmly maintained that it’s never okay to use that word. It bothers me when anyone uses it. Not in a shock value kind of bother. Not in a humorous kind of bother. Not in a “this makes me uncomfortable in my white skin” kind of bother. In a “this is offensive and degrading and completely inappropriate” kind of bother.
But then again I am a white girl from the suburbs. I was raised and taught to understand why the “N” word is profanity most foul, even worse than the “F” word. Because rather than being offensive and crude to everyone, the “N” word offends and denigrates specific people for a specific reasons. Anyone who uses the word is perpetuating wrong, hurtful and disgusting slander against every person of that race, past and present. It’s a vile, vulgar, sickening word.
And now, thanks to Michael Richards, “we” have been given our vocabulary marching orders from Jesse Jackson. No more use of the “N” word.
I’m hoping, really, deeply hoping Jesse’s plea reaches the right ears because I’ve been suffering in silence over this issue for quite a while. Well, not total silence, I've talked about it with my friends who happen to be of the race at the butt of the offensive word, and they hate it, too. So I've been confused as to exactly who thinks it's "okay" and even "funny" or "artistic" to use it and hear it. I have heard the arguments, been to the stand-up comedians’ shows, listened to the lyrics, tried to get my mind around the “cultural justification” of it and come up empty every time. I finally assumed it’s because I’m a nice white girl from the suburbs with deeply entrenched beliefs about that word and why it’s so awful and therefore I can never understand why “sometimes” it’s “okay” for certain people to use it. So I’m hugely relieved that there’s a public plea from Jesse regarding use of the word.
Unfortunately there’s a big opportunity missed, though. As long as we’re teaching ethics, etiquette and cultural awareness, and modifying behaviors, Jesse could have banned a few other words, too.
Since Jesse’s a man maybe it simply didn’t occur to him that a few other offensive words are often bandied about by comedians and rappers.
Or maybe it’s okay to offend an entire gender of people as long as you keep the racial slander out of it.
I’m hoping Michael Richards has another anger management meltdown and calls women bitches and ‘hos. Then he can go to the person in charge of women and apologize and then a public plea can be made to stop using those terms, too.
I’m not sure who’s in charge of us women. I guess it’s probably Gloria Steinem. But for all her feminist groundwork I’ve felt she’s a bit out of touch with those of us gals a few generations under her shadow. Hmmm. Now that I give it some thought, I don’t know who Michael Richards would use to send his message of apology if he were to publicly offend women. Hilary Clinton? I hope not. Oprah!? Noprah. Rosie? Madonna? Tyra? No. No. No. Huh. I’m a woman and I have absolutely no idea who our public “voice” is.
So I’ll pick up the slack left by Jesse and start the request on behalf of my gender. No more “N” word. Check. Rock on and roger that.
And.
Boys? Fellas? Guys? Dudes? Strike these from your vocabulary, too:
No more “B” word. No more “’Ho” word.
Most of us are not bitches and very few of us are whores. There’s no humor, nothing cute, nothing except degradation and disrespect in those words. I know, I know, those girls in the videos on BET don’t seem to mind, but they should. I’m sure they won’t mind if those words are no longer in the vernacular. I know, I know, Paris and Nicole perpetuated the “affectionate” use of the “B” word. Right. I think I’ve just made my point with that sentence.
We’re all clear on this, now, right? No “N” word. No “B” word. No “’Ho” word.
Oh. And. No more ending sentences with at.
9:29 AM
