Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Monday, March 16, 2015  
In an effort to save money and make calorie counting easier, local professional woman Tricia McMillian is making her own 100 calorie packs.

"Costco was really the impetus," Ms. McMillian said of her growing supply of snack-filled sandwich bags. "I discovered these crunchy Veggie Straws. They're really good, especially with hummus. Costco offers the option of pre-packaged individual serving sizes, which is what I was buying because it's so convenient to take a small bag to work for lunch," McMillian said, gushing over the benefit of a serving of vegetables in crunchy straw form, "but on a recent trip to Costco I noticed they also offer a giant bag of loose Veggie Straws. The giant bag of loose straws offers a $2.49 cost savings over the single serving bags. When I realized that a little light went off over my head. I thought, 'Trill, you can make your own 100 calorie single serving snack bags.'" 

Citing the high cost of pre-packed 100 calorie single-serving snacks, Ms. McMillian admits her endeavor started as a way to manage her grocery budget. "I'm not made of money. Even though I shop in bulk and stay away from high-priced luxury food items, I was paying more and more and getting less and less on my grocery shopping trips. The stores can flash their '2 for $5' specials all they want. The reality is that you only get 4 - 6 single serving packs in those pre-made 100 calorie pack boxes. It's a rip off." 

The size of the snack items in the pre-made single-serving packs was another source of contention with Ms. McMillian. "The cookies and crackers in those pre-made snack packs are really small. They're doll sized, like something you'd eat at a kid-sized table having a tea party with a 3-year-old. Granted, they may be geared for children, so I suppose miniature Teddy Grahams are appropriate in that regard. But I'm a grown woman and I always felt kind of silly eating a cookie or cracker that was so small I had to contort my fingers kind of funny to eat them. I really doubt any adult is fooled by the smaller sized snacks. No one's going to think they've eaten 20 normal sized cookies after devouring the micro-sized cookies." Ms. McMillian said she thinks most grown-ups would rather have two normal-sized cookies than 20 micro-cookies, "unless they have some sort of food dysmorphia issue."

Ms. McMillian's cost-cutting efforts don't stop at the bulk food products. "I found store-brand zip lock baggies on sale for $1.29 and stocked up on them. That's a huge savings over the national brand. They're thin but they're airtight enough to keep snacks fresh and crisp. I mean, $1.29 for 100 zip lock bags versus $2.98? No brainer. Store brand is the way to go." And the "snack size" zip lock bags? "Don't waste your money," Ms. McMillian emphatically recommended, "unless you really need to save space, the smaller snack sized bags are overpriced and unnecessary."

While it may seem like a lot of extra work, Ms. McMillian insists it's time well spent. She uses the food label as a guide for the portions. "Take Veggie Straws, for example," the snack pack enthusiast explained, "the mega bag says it has 26 servings. So, I count out 26 zip lock bags. Then, I count out the exact number of pieces in the suggested serving size and place them in a zip lock bag. I then use that bag as a gauge for the remaining bags. Usually I end up needing a couple more bags, in the case of Veggie Straws I typically get 28 to 29 snack packs, 2 to 3 more than the label says are in the bag."

Her home-made snack pack enterprise started with the Veggie Straws. Once she worked out the details and mastered creating her own Veggie Straw single serving packs, McMillian set her sights on other DIY single serving packs. She branched into Teddy Grahams, Cheez-It crackers, almonds, and baby carrots.

She's most proud of her trail mix. "That was a real eye-opener. I thought I was getting a good deal on the Kirkland brand single serving trail mix packs," Ms. McMillian said of the Costco store brand trail mix bags, "18 single serving bags for something like $14. That's less than $1/bag. But when I found a great sale on almonds and raisins, I thought I might as well make my own single serving trail mix. I bought bulk dried cranberries and mini-pretzels and mixed them with the almonds and raisins and made the single serving sized bags. It took some effort to calculate 100 calories of the mix, but I think I figured out a fairly accurate ratio per bag, give or take 10 calories. All said and done I ended up with 36 bags of trail mix and only paid $11 for the ingredients. And...I didn't have to dig out and throw away the pesky chocolate candies I don't like. Score!" Buoyed by her success with traditional trail mix DIY snack packs, the cost-savings portion-minded enthusiast and former Girl Scout created more exotic trail mix versions suiting her personal taste. "That's the beauty of making the snack packs yourself! You save money and get exactly what you want. Dried pineapple, macadamia nuts and sesame crackers bought in bulk combine to make 20 single serving snack bags with a hula flair for 50¢ - 75¢ per bag. Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I love that combination."

As she scooped dried apples, walnuts, raisins, almonds and Cheez-its into zip lock bags, the triumphant snack bagger enthused, "Cost savings and snacks personalized to suit my tastes? Win-win. I can't believe more people don't do this."

9:11 PM

 
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