Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.
Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.
Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Chapter 4 of Just Drive, She Said is now posted. (In which we learn Matthew swears like a Canadian.)
Unless I get a full time job in the next couple weeks I won't be able to pay my mortgage in September. So, the time has come, I have to brace for impact.
I've already purged a lot of my life and stuff of life. There have been steady trips to the donation center and the dumpster and a few sales on eBay. So I don't have a ton of stuff.
But. I do have some stuff.
And I haven't been homeless for a long time. And the last time I was homeless I had just returned from England and didn't have many possessions. And I was young and my parents were happy to have me (and my meager possessions) while I regrouped and relocated. "In transition" is the polite way of saying "kicked out of the UK and sent packing home to Mummy and Daddy." At that point in life I was young enough that there wasn't a lot of shame or speculation about staying with my parents for a few weeks/months. In that case it truly was just a transitional phase. I was outta there in 6 weeks.
This time...well...this time it's certainly a transition but the future's not so bright and it will most likely be a lot longer than 6 weeks.
I love my mother and she's happy to take me in - she's not judging or pressuring me - but...does anyone over the age of 25 want to move back home with their mother? I mean, really and truly, as cushy and nice as it can be, or may sound, does anyone really want to live with their parents? Especially anyone who's been a functioning member of society for a lot of years and never thought about, much less expected, to have to indefinitely move home with their parents?
This is a new concept for me and I have a load of questions. If anyone's gone through this, this losing everything and having to move home with parents situation, please, I could really use some advice.
I currently rent a small storage locker a few blocks from my condo (that's what us cityfolk who live in tiny apartments/condos without basements/attics/closets do with the stuff that usually goes in basements/attics/closets). It's not full, but, the rest of my stuff won't fit in it. I don't have a ton of furniture, but I'd like to keep my desk, couch, dresser, chair and bed. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but, when you look at storage lockers, that stuff takes up a lot of real estate, even when stacked on top of each other. A bigger storage locker costs more money. Money I don't have.
Which leads me to my next question: Do I keep my stuff stored here, in Chicago, or, do I load everything that will fit into the smallest U-Haul I can rent and find a cheaper storage locker close to my parents' house? The storage rates there are cheaper than in Chicago, but, the cost of the U-Haul will pretty much consume the savings on the cheaper storage locker in suburban Detroit.
The problem is, of course, I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen next or where I'll end up in the end. I presume, at this point, that I am destined to be an old (and unemployed) spinster living with her mother. Which is numbingly depressing.
And there are issues beyond the numb depression of admitting defeat, surrendering and accepting that I am an old (unemployed) spinster who can't hack it on her own and has to move home with her mother.
My mother wants to move from my parents' house. It's far too big and difficult for her to manage on her own, or, even with me there. It's just too big and too much work and pointless for her to be there - even with me moving back home with her. Unfortunately that house is located in Southeast Michigan and I triple dog dare you to sell a house in Southeast Michigan right now. She's not looking to make a lot of money on it, but, there's a foreclosure in the neighborhood and two other comparable homes that have been on the market for over a year and haven't had a nibble.
But, my siblings are pressuring her to put the house on the market. They're worried about her there on her own and think the upkeep and high property tax are silly wastes of money. My sister is angry with me for even considering moving in with my mother because she thinks if I'm there it's an excuse for my mother to not move. My sister also thinks I'm a spoiled rotten baby sponging off my mother. My sister also thinks I'm a loser because I've never been married and can't even snag a boyfriend. My sister also thinks I'm a "waste of eggs" because I've never had children.*
So this whole "moving back home with my mother" situation is even worse than it sounds. It's not something I want to do, no one wants to be unemployed, file bankruptcy, go into foreclosure, lose their home and move in with their parents. Trust me. Even the most slacking mooch doesn't want to do that. But added to all the usual issues, I have the bonus of siblings who are opposed to me moving in with my mother and see me as a threat to our mother's well-being.
But apart from all that, there are practical issues involved, like the storage locker. Where do I store the few meager possessions I have?
Or, do I just get rid of everything? Give away, donate, sell and throw out everything except a few articles of clothing and the laptop? I mean, let's be real: I'm homeless. I don't need stuff. I don't deserve stuff. I can't find a job so I don't deserve to have stuff.
And I don't need a desk or couch or bed or dresser because I'm swutting homeless. Furniture goes in a home. And I will be homeless.
Optimistically we can say this is only a temporary situation, an awkward pause in my life, and when I get a job and get back on my feet I'll need a bed, a couch, a desk, a dresser...clothes, dishes, towels...
But. Once I file bankruptcy and go into foreclosure I'm guessing it will take a while (years, I presume) to establish myself as financially viable enough to even sign for a lease on an apartment. So is it even worth the expense and effort of storing my meager possessions all that time?
And again, where do I store them? The likelihood of me finding a job in Southeastern Michigan is slim. I know. Who loses their job and moves to Michigan in hopes of finding a job? No one. No one does that. Because Michigan, much as I love it, is not exactly the land of opportunity right now. But I have no other viable choice. Sure, I have friends who have offered a spare bedroom or couch, but I can't stay with them indefinitely. My mother is the only one who will give me an open ended invitation. But does that mean, should I decide to keep some stuff, that I store my stuff there?
And let's just say my mother is miraculously able to sell the house. Then what? She's not sure where she'll move, but it'll probably be a small place in a retirement community - where I'm too young, ineligible, to live. Which leaves me really and truly homeless. Which means there's no reason for me to be in Southeastern Michigan. So why store my stuff there?
Why keep my stuff? Possessions are a luxury of the employed. Unemployed homeless people are not allowed any luxuries, especially possessions.
Anyone who's been through this, please, I really need some sound advice on how to proceed. I don't have the life skills for dealing with this situation. I'm learning, I've learned a lot, but, I've never been in this situation and I don't know anyone who has so I need some solid and sound advice.
*To give you an idea of what I'm walking into by moving home with my mother, my sister's latest self righteous rant at me: "As messed up as my marriage was, at least I got married, I could have married a lot of different men, I have children, and I have never been without a man in my life. I know how to maintain relationships. And I have children. I'm normal, I function like a normal human being. I have relationships, children, a home and a sex life. You can't even find one man to date you, no one will marry you, and now you can't even adopt children. You can't find a job, you're losing everything. You're a total fuck up. And now you expect Mum to take care of you? You're such a spoiled brat, grow up and deal with the mess you made of your life instead of dragging Mum down with you." Yeah. I know. Thanks, sis. Really. I really appreciate the compassion and support. You always come through for me with compassion and concern. But she's right. This is my mess, my problem. She is more adept at life. She was unemployed last year, too, nine months. My mother did help her financially. But my sister mainly relies on her two boyfriends for financial support. She finagled money, food, vacations, college tuition for one of her daughters and a new car out of them while she was unemployed. Is it prostitution if the men who give you stuff after you have sex are called boyfriends? Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love. Accept. Forgive. Heal. Peace. Love.
