Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Friday, October 18, 2013  
"Ohmygod, Have you seen gravity?!" People say this with strained urgency, with a lot of, well, gravity.

Until a few weeks ago, if someone asked that you would be in worrying furtive glance territory. Maybe you would have let something drop to the floor as an example of gravity at work. Maybe taken them by the hand to a globe and set it spinning, explaining gravitational pull and centrifugal effect. But mainly you'd think, "Okaaaaay, that's kind of an off the wall question for someone over the age of 12 to ask out of nowhere..."

The first time someone asked me that this month my mind immediately went to Schoolhouse Rock. "Down, down, down gravity..." And then to the in-class demonstration I did on Sir Isaac Newton, complete with apple, feather and extra credit written and illustrated report titled, "Gravity is a Matter of Gravity." I drew pictures of various examples of gravity in everyday life, the cover illustration showed the effects of gravity on hair wherein I drew Isaac Newton floating away from an apple tree, reaching for a floating apple, his long, wavy locks floating away from his head. (Hey, I was 8, cut me some slack. I got an A and a spot in the "Academic All Stars!" display case.) And then to physics class where the teacher painted  "F = Gm1m2/r2  Keeps Us Grounded!" on the wall, (I'm rather proud of myself for remembering that equation, and that I had more difficulty coding the subscript so it didn't throw off the line spacing than remembering the equation), and then to the religious kid in high school who used to hand out flyers in the science hall. He'd say things like, "We can't see gravity, but we live by its laws. So it is with God." And, "God is like gravity. You can't see Him but you know He's there because we're not spinning out of control." Speak for yourself, religious kid. Back then I mused on the double meaning of the word gravity - the scientific phenomenon v. the synonym meaning dire importance - and wondered if the religious kid meant to imply deeper significance to his gravity rants. He never seemed very bright, so my guess was that his brain was too busy being proud of figuring out a simile between gravity and God to fire any synapses over the other meaning of gravity, as in direly urgent.

I knew the recent onslaught of gravity questions pertained to the film, Gravity, italicized with a capital G. But still, until Sandra Bullock took the big screen by storm, the question, "Have you seen gravity?" was left to elementary school science lessons. And that's where my mind goes when someone inquires if I've seen gravity. Or Gravity.

What I find interesting is that people don't think about any of that when they pose the question. They don't hear the words coming out of their mouths and chuckle at the double meaning. They think Gravity (italicized, with an upper case G, Sandra Bullock) and so gravity (lower case g, Isaac Newton and/or direly urgent) never enter(s) their mind. Even though the film is about gravity and gravity. And when I point out the play on the word, that the title of the movie intentionally holds double meaning and a one word plot summery, perhaps throwing in a few interesting bits of trivia about Sir Isaac Newton, I'm the one who's given the worrying furtive glances. Like the religious kid in the science hall at school, I'm considered the weird one.

A friend treated me to a movie night, and so now I can reply, "Yes, I saw Gravity." But even when I say it I have to divert my brain away from gravity and focus on Gravity. In my mind I turn into the religious kid at school. "Gravity is everywhere. Gravity is the singularly most important aspect of life in the Universe." No one likes an imperious know-it-all, and my friends have been driving me batshit with their fingers always on the Google trigger, so I kept all this to myself. Live by example and all that. But as the frequency of the Gravity question increased, and lack of recognition of the double meaning of the question, I decided to let loose on some of the more obnoxious wannabe know-it-alls in my life. Let's suffice it to say they can dish it out but they can't take it. 

One final note on Gravity. If you have children under the age of 12, it is of the utmost gravity that you do not take them to see the movie. I don't get out much (rarely), so my movie night out was a huge stinking deal to me. Huge. The movie is exceptionally well crafted, melding visual and sound effects in a striking composition. Silence is used to great effect. Or. Well, it would have been a great effect if the children in the theater hadn't been crying/talking/playing on the stairway aisles in the theater during the entire movie. Do everyone in the theater a favor and keep your kids at home. You can show them this instead:





9:53 AM

 
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