Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Wednesday, April 22, 2015  
Area woman Tricia McMillian recently made a leap forward in socializing with a man who lives in her building. The woman, who has lived in the high rise condominium building for 8 years, first noticed the man a week after moving into the building. The eight years that followed were filled with occasional cursory semi-door holds while entering and exiting the building at the same time and polite semi-smiles at the mail boxes. The neighbors' encounters were sometimes punctuated with perfunctory nods in the elevator. The unmarried area woman noted with some surprise that in eight years there were no chance encounters with this particular man neighbor in the laundry room or at the recycling bins. "I dunno," she mused, "maybe he doesn't do laundry or recycle. Or maybe our paths just never cross in those places."

The woman admits that she never made any attempts for deeper socializing. She noted that he never made eye contact and didn't seem interested in small talk. "I get it, I put up my 'not open for business' signals a lot, too." The woman's neighbor never introduced himself, and she never felt compelled to initiate introductions. "The only real reason I noticed him more than my other neighbors is because I think we're about the same age and single. Which is a little unusual in our building," the area woman explained, "most of the people who live in our building who are our age are married, or often coming and going with a partner. The other singles are much older or a bit younger. Not a lot of uncoupled people in our age range." The area woman admits she has no idea what his relationship status is but notes that every time she sees him he's alone.

The encounters between the neighbors took sudden unexpected turn last Friday evening. Ms. McMillian, returning home around 7 PM after a long day at work, noticed her neighbor approaching the entry from the opposite direction. She held the door and handed it off to him as she entered the lobby and made her way to the mailboxes. He followed and also checked the mailbox. The area woman, knowing how long the wait can be for an elevator that time on a Friday night, walked ahead to push the call button. Her neighbor soon followed behind her. They stood waiting, alternating glancing at the floor indicator lights and thumbing through their mail. Ms. McMillian notes that no words were exchanged between the neighbors. The area woman, trying to think of something to occupy the time in the increasingly uncomfortable silence unbuttoned her coat.

When the elevator finally arrived, the area woman's neighbor motioned gallantly for Ms. McMillian to enter first. She nodded cordially, thanked him and proceeded into the elevator. As her neighbor boarded the elevator, Ms. McMillian asked him what floor he wanted. He told her what floor he wanted, and it was at this juncture that there was an abrupt change in the relationship between the area woman and her neighbor.

"He started talking to me," Ms. McMillian said, surprise still in her voice, "he engaged me in actual conversation, not just polite elevator small talk or condo building gossip." The area woman had never given any thought to her neighbor's personality. "I dunno, I just never really formed an opinion, you know, personality-wise. Turns out he's very nice and interesting. He has an interesting job and has traveled quite a bit." Ms. McMillian carried on the conversation even after the elevator stopped at her floor. "He kept talking, even after the elevator reached my floor, I moved to the door...and he continued talking, so I stood in the opening, blocking the door from closing and keeping the elevator positioned on my floor." Eventually, the "door blocked" bell rang. The area woman motioned to the door and excused herself. As she moved out of the elevator, her neighbor introduced himself. She, introduced herself. "Just like that, after all these years, now we know each others' names. He also asked me how long I've lived in the building. Turns out he moved in a year before me. He said, 'Wow, after all these years and we finally had a conversation!' I said, 'Well, see ya 'round!' and he said, 'Yes! I'm looking forward to seeing you again!'" Ms. McMillian excitedly exclaimed.  

Her mind racing over the evening's developments, and how she had never noticed that her neighbor was quite good looking, the area woman raced to her condo. "I had to go to the bathroom really bad. I'd been anxious to get home ever since I got off the bus, but when he engaged me in conversation on the elevator, and I really looked him in the eyes and noticed how pretty they are, and how he was a good conversationalist, I kind of forgot about my urgent need to urinate."

Upon entering her bathroom, the area woman noticed that her crossover wrap-style top had slipped, and one of her breasts was almost fully exposed. "Sure, it was sheathed in my bra, but it was laundry night and I was down the back-of-the-drawer undies, which means I was wearing a lacy demi-bra, that really doesn't cover much of anything."

The area woman was initially embarrassed about her wardrobe malfunction, but embarrassment soon gave way to disappointment and anger. "Eight years! Eight years we've been crossing paths and he never, not once, spoke to me or even gave me eye contact. But the second I inadvertently expose one demi-bra clad boob and he comes alive, all talky-talk infused with personality and charm. Yes, yes, of course I'm embarrassed, but that man is a cad. He didn't even have the decency to be embarrassed and avert his gaze. I thought it was weird that he was suddenly so attentive."

Ms. McMillian expressed concern about future encounters with her neighbor. She is hoping they will resume their previous barely-cordial, non-verbal greetings. As of press time the area woman was looking into the possibility of selling her condo and moving to another part of town.

8:38 PM

 
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