Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Saturday, August 23, 2008  
My dad loved that VISA commercial where the son takes his dad to visit their homeland, Norway, endure weird food, funny sweaters only to find out in the end they're actually Swedish. (Sorry for the spoiler.)

I like that ad, too, even though I'm opposed to the overall concept of life requiring credit cards and VISA perpetuating the debt problem by insisting that life requires a credit card. But my dad really liked it - I think the fact that it was advertising VISA was completely insignificant to him. I'm sure he knew it was for a credit card but that wasn't the point. The story and images were funny and on those points I agree, it is well done in terms of telling a good story in 60 seconds. He'd call me when it came on and would tell me to turn the tv to whatever network he was watching and then, every time, at the end, he'd absolutely bust a gut laughing as if it was the first time he'd seen the commercial.

The ad inspired my dad to start planning a trip to Norway, visit the land of our Viking family, connect with some cousins, wear sweaters, see the Kon Tiki and all that. So I upped the ante and said, "Okay, I'm in, but we have to take that cruise from Oslo up to the Arctic Circle while we're there." My dad was up for that so we were making plans for our Viking Adventure next Spring. We were boning up on our Hamsun and Ibsen and digging out photos of family back in Norway. Every time the commercial would air he'd call, bust a gut laughing and then, through fits of guffaws, would say, "That's going to be us except, har har, guffaw, we are, ha ha ha, not, guffaw guffaw, Swedish ha ha ha ha."

Obviously my dad and I won't be visiting our ancestral homeland together. I'm really pissed off at the Universe about that. We had plans, we had things to do, he had things to show me, things to teach me, my dad had a lot of life left to live, he wasn't ready to die. One day I'll go, I'll make that trip, but it's dropped on my list. Sure, I could still go for him, but the nerve is too raw. Someday, sometime later when I'm not as angry at the Universe. Someday, sometime later when I can think of my dad without tears welling in my eyes and feeling an empty ache where he used to be. Then I'll go. Then I'll take our trip. But for now it's repositioned further down the list.

So, back to my goal of taking an actual vacation in the next few years.

I've been eating my way to New Zealand for a couple years. My goal is to get there by 2010. (The goal has been delayed a year due to surgery and vacation time taken to be with my parents and the advent of the now ill-fated Viking Adventure.)

I guess I thought everyone who cared knew about this.

But I recently found out one of my friends had no idea this program existed.

You can get airline miles for buying groceries. If you have a Safeway affiliate grocery you can earn miles on United every time you shop you can eat your way to someplace you've always wanted to visit.

For me it's a no brainer. I shop at a Safeway affiliate grocery, I have a frequent flier account on United, so, duh, why wouldn't I earn the extra points? I realize 125 miles seems like small drops in a big bucket of a reward ticket. But. Have you noticed the price of groceries lately? In the past six months I've spent more money on fewer groceries, which totally sucks. BUT, on the plus side, I'm accruing air miles at a staggering rate.

My iPod finally crashed (and almost literally burned, the drive got so hot before it crashed that it melted the plastic of a pen laying next to it.) So when I save enough money for a new iPod I'll compute my way to New Zealand, too.

Like to go Targetting? Me, too. Have you tried Target.com? Yep, me, too. Did you know you can get miles on both United and American by clicking through the Mile Malls? Right now United's Mile Mall has a mile bonus sale - double and triple miles for purchases. I'm still really angry at American for their horrible customer service when I needed to get to my dad in hospital, but I often have to fly American for work so I might as well accumulated miles. I'm going to give my American miles to charity because I refuse to fly them for anything other than required work trips. But if you like American and want to accumulate miles for yourself or to give to a charity, American Airlines' mall is offering double miles.

One of my favorite places to find great gifts is Artfulhome.com and American is offering 4 miles/$1 and free shipping through the end of August. Buy a wedding present for friends and earn miles toward your own honeymoon. S'all good.

If you're not Netflixing, yet, here's a 1,000 mile incentive. 24,000 more miles and you could fly to Hollywood.

9:03 AM

 
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