Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Monday, January 26, 2015  
Apparently there was a revolt against one of the dumbest televised forms of ignominy in modern history at the SAG awards. I'm kind of sorry I missed the uprising against the E! network's "mani cam."

If you are not aware of the mani cam, it's a small box display fitted with a macro lens. When Hollywood starlets hit the red carpets at award shows, E! news correspondents ask the starlets to strut their fingers in front of the mani cam. The purpose, I guess, is to show off the manicures and rings/bracelets worn by the starlets. 

Yes, it is inane. Yes, it does reduce women to silly, girly, superficial mannequins adorned with luxury items. Yes, it is insulting and silly and superficial. Its all marketing. Designers, jewelers, desperately vie for the top leading ladies' bodies on which their wares are shown. Actresses on the red carpet are billboards for luxury brands. 

And that's why the Mani Cam Revolt, while a good start, is nowhere near enough restitution for the decades of inequality and subjugation of women in the entertainment industry. 

I am a fan of Amy Poehler’s Smart Girl movement.
I do support the sentiment. It should be obvious to anyone who's read five sentences written by me that I support anything that lauds females' using their brains.
However.
Award shows are stupid.

I won't go so far as to say smart girls don't watch award shows. Heck, I've watched a few of them. I've been sucked into the Oscars, especially when movies I particularly like make it to the nominations. I love movies – the story telling, the art direction, the film editing, the special effects - and every two or three years I watch the Oscars.  

But. If I were advising young women as to how to spend their down time, "watching entertainment industry award shows" wouldn't be one of the top options I would suggest. 

If I were asked to place a wager on how smart girls spend their down time, "watching entertainment industry award shows" wouldn't be my choice for a sure bet. 

The Mani Cam Revolt was the right message, but the SAG awards was wrong venue to draw a line in the sand. The SAG awards are solely for actors. SAG awards are not for the writers, art directors, script editors, costume designers, financial managers, production managers, or anyone ( male or female) who has to use gray matter for creatively and/or analytically to perform the responsibilities required of them in the making of a movie or television show. SAG awards are for the actors who put on the costumes designed by someone else, go to a set designed, engineered and built by someone else, take direction from someone else, and read lines written by someone else while being filmed by someone else.
I know the acting community will have conniptions over this, and I know, I know, the Meryl Streeps, Gregory Pecks, Myrna Loys and Charlie Chaplains bring an intelligence, creativity and craft to movies that speaks to a higher level of intellect and emotional insight. They’re doing more than just reading words on a page. I know this and I acknowledge the hard work, awareness and insight required to dig deep and evoke feelings from the viewing audience.
It’s a team effort and the actors are the members of the team who carry out the PR role.

But.
Without the writers, directors, camera crew, editors etc., the Meryl Streeps and Gregory Pecks would need to find other forms of income.
Loads of girls and young women (and a lot of not so young women) tune into award shows and are dazzled by the clothes, jewelry and hair. The craft of acting gets lost in all the appearance-aspects that are the fallout of money and fame.
And that is a shame (and a sham). I  understand how someone like Amy Poehler - an intelligent, funny, creative woman very capable of original thought and creative innovation in a male dominate industry - would become weary, frustrated and insulted by inane questions about her clothes and makeup.
But. She works in an industry where beauty trumps brains for those in front of the camera, while those deemed unattractive are relegated to the other side of the camera, never to be seen by the public. As much as I would like to see that change, it's not going to change any time soon. As much as I would like to see writers, editors, costume designers, art directors, production managers, financiers - women and men - receive as much (or more) recognition as the actors, I know that's not going to happen until there is a huge societal shift away from physical appearance as a benchmark of success.
Here's an idea, Amy. If you don’t like the game propose a change in the rules or play a different game. I’m not saying stop acting or get out of the biz. I’m saying: The reason you’re being asked to strut your manicure and jewelry on the mani cam is because you’re wearing a dress that costs thousands of dollars and jewelry that would pay several semesters of college tuition for smart girls in the home viewing audience.

Here’s how to change the rules: Put your money where your mouth is when planning your outfits for award shows. If you truly want the vapid E! News industry shills to ask insightful questions that have nothing to do with your appearance, go to Ann Taylor or Macy’s and buy a $148 dress (less if you have a coupon or buy on a Super Saturday) or a nice skirt and top, or a pant suit. Wear sensible, comfortable, shoes. Don’t wear expensive jewelry. Wear your “normal woman going to the accounts payable department at the office” makeup and hair. Dress like the rest of us women who have jobs that require us to use our brains and create, analyze and produce.
Or, and I realize this is cavalier thinking here, skip the red carpet walk of superficial shame entirely. Go to the award show, support your industry if you want, but I’m pretty sure there are side and back entrances. I don’t think you have to walk the red carpet to attend the event.
Or, if you really want to make a statement about the E! News inanity, walk the red carpet but snub the offending interviewers. Don’t stop for them, just walk into the event without talking to the people who are only interested in your clothes, jewelry, hair and makeup.
Problem solved. The interviewers on the red carpet won't be given the chance to ask questions that insult your intelligence.

Another way to solve the problem of women being asked stupid, superficial questions? Give the Pulitzer and Nobel prizes the same air time and relevance as entertainment awards. Line the red carpet with actual journalists. 

Boring, you say? Not glamorous, you say? Maybe. But it would celebrate smart women, and smart men, and would take the focus away from superficial topics like designer gowns and expensive jewelry. 

Of course I long for a world where brains are more revered than beauty. Of course I'd prefer a world where women are asked about more intelligent topics than their dress or the man they are accompanying to the event. 

But I'm also longing for a world where award shows celebrate people who write and create and discover and solve problems, rather than actors who merely portray people who write, create, discover and solve.

Yes, #askhermore, but, that's just the beginning. After you ask her more, really listen to her response. Give her more career opportunities, celebrate her cerebral accomplishments, pay her a salary equal to her male equivalents. Respect her for who she is, not how she looks.

The best way to do that? Instead of demanding to be asked more, take the lead and offer the information.



Ultimately, the point is to shift the focus from superficial inanities starlets are asked to any topic that requires an IQ in the triple digits. So, here’s the tactic I would like to see employed. When on the red carpet at entertainment award shows. When an E! correspondent (or anyone else) asks an actor to take a stroll in the mani cam or asks her “who she’s wearing,” the actor responds to the question they would prefer to be asked. Here’s a script Amy and other actors can use.

E! correspondent: “Amy Poehler! Hi! What a gorgeous dress! Who are you wearing?!”
Amy Poehler: “The percentage of college educated woman voluntarily leaving the workforce has been on a staggering increase in the past 10 years.”
E! correspondent: [long blank stare]
Amy Poehler: “Certainly the high cost of child care is the leading factor, and the inequality of wages between men and women persists, so naturally it makes more financial sense for women to surrender their careers instead of men, but that only explains part of the statistic.”
E! correspondent: “Nice chatting with you, oh look! It’s Scarlett Johansson! Scarlet! Scarlet! That ring is to die for! Show it off in our mani cam!!”
Scarlett Johansson: “There’s a research group in Chicago who are compiling results from cancer studies around the world. Their efforts to create a collaborative cancer research database not only helps research teams network and compare data, it is resulting in cross-purposing medications and treatments. Oncologists, bio-chemists, geneticists, to name a few, from all over the world, are sharing information on research, treatments and patient studies.”
E! correspondent: [hears the producer telling the editor to cut to Gary Busey on camera 3]


10:21 PM

 
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