Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.

Otherwise, hello, and welcome.
Mail Trillian here<





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Women, The Internet and You: Tips for Men Who Use Online Dating Sites
Part I, Your Profile and Email

Part II, Selecting a Potential Date

Part III, Your First Date!

Part IV, After the First Date. Now What?


"50 First Dates"






Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.

Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Find Federal Officials
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or Search by State

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or Search by State

Contact The Media
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Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)

Quasar
Hyperbole
Amenable
Taciturn
Ennui
Prophetic
Tawdry
Hubris
Ethereal
Syzygy
Umbrageous
Twerp
Sluice
Omnipotent
Sanctuary
Malevolent
Maelstrom
Luddite
Subterfuge
Akimbo
Hoosegow
Dodecahedron
Visceral
Soupçon
Truculent
Vitriol
Mercurial
Kerfuffle
Sangfroid




























 







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Highlights from the Archives. Some favorite Trillian moments.

Void, Of Course: Eliminating Expectations and Emotions for a Better Way of Life

200i: iPodyssey

Macs Are from Venus, Windows is from Mars Can a relationship survive across platform barriers?
Jerking Off

Get A Job

Office Church Ladies: A Fieldguide

'Cause I'm a Blonde

True? Honestly? I think not.

A Good Day AND Funyuns?

The Easter Boy

Relationship in the Dumpster

Wedding Dress 4 Sale, Never Worn

Got Friends? Are You Sure? Take This Test

What About Class? Take This Test

A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Was a Really Bad Movie

May Your Alchemical Process be Complete. Rob Roy Recipe

Good Thing She's Not in a Good Mood Very Often (We Knew it Wouldn't Last)

What Do I Have to Do to Put You in this Car Today?

Of Mice and Me (Killer Cat Strikes in Local Woman's Apartment)

Trillian: The Musical (The Holiday Special)

LA Woman (I Love (Hate) LA)

It is my Cultureth
...and it would suit-eth me kindly to speak-eth in such mannered tongue

Slanglish

It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You
Blogging a Legacy for Future Generations


Parents Visiting? Use Trillian's Mantra!

Ghosts of Christmas Past: Mod Hair Ken

Caught Blogging by Mom, Boss or Other

2003 Holiday Sho-Lo/Mullet Awards

Crullers, The Beer Store and Other Saintly Places

Come on Out of that Doghouse! It's a Sunshine Day!

"...I had no idea our CEO is actually Paula Abdul in disguise."

Lap Dance of the Cripple

Of Muppets and American Idols
"I said happier place, not crappier place!"

Finally Off Crutches, Trillian is Emancipated

Payless? Trillian? Shoe Confessions

Reality Wednesday: Extremely Local Pub

Reality Wednesday: Backstage Staging Zone (The Sweater Blog)

The Night Secret Agent Man Shot My Dad

To Dream the Impossible Dream: The Office Karaoke Party

Trillian Flies Economy Class (Prisoner, Cell Block H)

Trillian Visits the Village of the Damned, Takes Drugs, Becomes Delusional and Blogs Her Brains Out

Trillian's Parents are Powerless

Striptease for Spiders: A PETA Charity Event (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arachnids)

What's Up with Trillian and the Richard Branson Worship?

"Screw the French and their politics, give me their cheese!"


















 
Mail Trillian here





Trillian's Guide to the Galaxy gives 5 stars to these places in the Universe:
So much more than fun with fonts, this is a daily dose of visual poetry set against a backdrop of historical trivia. (C'mon, how can you not love a site that notes Wolfman Jack's birthday?!)

CellStories

Alliance for the Great Lakes


Hot, so cool, so cool we're hot.

Ig Nobel Awards

And you think YOU have the worst bridesmaid dress?

Coolest Jewelry in the Universe here (trust Trillian, she knows)

Red Tango

If your boss is an idiot, click here.

Evil Cat Full of Loathing.

Wildlife Works

Detroit Cobras


The Beachwood Reporter is better than not all, but most sex.



Hey! Why not check out some great art and illustration while you're here? Please? It won't hurt and it's free.

Shag

Kii Arens

Tim Biskup

Jeff Soto

Jotto




Get Fuzzy Now!
If you're not getting fuzzy, you should be. All hail Darby Conley. Yes, he's part of the Syndicate. But he's cool.





Who or what is HWNMNBS: (He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken) Trillian's ex-fiancé. "Issues? What issues?"







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.


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Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains

A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right

Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains





























Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero

 
Tuesday, February 05, 2008  
Trillian Endorses...

In honor of Super Tuesday I'm going to publicly announce my endorsements.

I know, I know, I try really hard not to get political on here. (Except in the case of King Daley.)

But what the heck. It's 2008. What not?

I'm campaigning, contributing time, real effort and money to the cause.

The problem is that there are lots of causes and not all candidates are supportive of the causes I call worthy. What to do, what to do...

Vote with your conscience not a party affiliation and spend your time and money helping the causes which mean something to you. Be the change you want to see the in the world and all that pithy rhetoric. Take the time to find out how the candidates vote on issues which directly impact you, your city, your friends and family and the causes which are important to you. It's not horrendously difficult. The voting record and remarks of every congressperson and senator is public record and can be found here. Happy hunting and I hope your favorite politicians haven't said anything to embarrass you. The truth can be so disillusioning.

In the spirit of endorsements, here are mine.

Alley Cat Allies - Feral feline colonies are a thorny issue. Some cats prefer to remain independent. And it's not for us humans to catch, cage and trap them. But. They live in a human world, which means they suffer injury, cruelties and hardships of a human world. Alley Cat Allies respects feline independence and feral cat communities with several plans specific to the cat(s)' needs. Spaying/neutering, immunizations, health care, and intervention for high risk animals to name a few. Bonus for all the cat h8ers out there: Alley Cat Allies supports spay/neuter programs, so there are fewer cats for you to h8.

Apple - Well, I mean, you know, how could I not endorse Apple? If I had a son I'd name him Steve Wozniak iSon Jobs McIntosh. I'd call him iTosh. Or Woz for short. Or maybe Steve. Whichever. So yeah, it's probably a good thing the whole motherhood thing didn't happen for me.

Applesauce - Yes. The tart mushy stuff. You don't hear much about applesauce. It doesn't get a lot of press. That's a shame because it's a healthy snack with dozens of cooking uses. Let's hear it for applesauce.

ASPCA/RSPCA - Helping animals escape harm, injury, and death by enforcing a zero cruelty policy for 142/182 years. That that Michael Vick.

Canada - Yes, the entire country of Canada.

CASA - Helping abused and neglected children find safety and an advocate in the court system. You don't have to have a child live with you - there are loads of volunteer needs at all levels. You can make a very positive difference in a child's life and future.

Museums - Yes, you know, those places filled with old and weird stuff? The places you went on school field trips? Yeah. Those places. And not just art museums. (Though I love art museums and wholeheartedly endorse them, they tend to get all the publicity.) Sure, here in Chicago we're lucky. We have the Art Institute, The Field Museum, The Museum of Science and Industry, the Museum of Contemporary Art, The Shedd Aquarium, the Museum of Holography, the International Museum of Surgical Science...but I bet your town has at least one museum. Or historical society. Or a room in the basement of city hall or a display case in the library. So go check it out, take a look, learn something.

NRDC - Natural Resources Defense Council. Kind of like the ASPCA but with a broader spectrum which includes all natural resources. Very strong advocate for environmental issues. Long before Al Gore discovered Power Pointless and got a Nobel Peace Prize for inventing Global Warming, the NRDC was a thorn in politicians' side regarding environmental issues and how oil, manufacturing, pollution and a lack of industrial responsibility directly impacts the environment. They act as a watchdog on the bills and lobbying which effects natural resources. Get on their email list and you will be very informed of what's going on in the environmental world around you - and what your elected officials are doing to instigate or prevent natural resource abuse. The NRDC is a direct link between us, the people, and legislation impacting natural resources. Wanna keep tabs on how much your elected officials really care? Hook up with the NRDC. What you find out about your elected officials may shock and appall you (sometimes politicians bend the truth a bit, especially during a campaign year), but it's the first step to being informed. And information is good.

Online Dating - Okay, no, it hasn't led to a long term committed relationship for me, but, so far in my office alone there have been four engagements/three marriages as a result of online dating. Considering the majority of my coworkers have been married for years or are gay, those four online dating successes represent a large statistic of note. It can work. And I can vouch for the fact that if used properly most of the credible sites can at least lead to meeting a few decent, intelligent people you would otherwise never have a chance to meet.

Physical Therapists - I have to disclaim this endorsement. Good physical therapists. I had a so-so physical therapist who helped a little when I broke my ankle. Her personality annoyed me, but she did help me get back on my feet. However, she didn't really do much of anything I wouldn't have done on my own. Well. Eventually. But now I have an amazing physical therapist helping me through what's turning into an horrific ordeal with my foot surgery. She is working directly with my doctors, not just sending an email report. She even went to a few appointments with me. She's advocating for me and truly helping me deal with the Rube-Goldbergian nightmare I've been living for the past year. She knows her stuff, she knows how bodies work and she knows what's wrong with mine. And she has an innovative plan for helping me walk again and more importantly, she's helping me alleviate pain without serious medication. Hey, I'm all for serious medication, especially for pain, but when it's not doing anything except causing liver damage and mental issues I can't condone it. Enter: A good physical therapist.

Tesla Motors - 100% electric. 100% gorgeous design. 100% worth the price tag. Good for the environment. Good for the future of product design. Good for America. Rock on. (I keep hoping if I keep mentioning them on the blog someone will just, you know, give me one to drive.)

ZipCar - Until someone gives me a Tesla, I'm a proud Zipster. Actually, even if someone gives me a Tesla I'll remain a Zipster. a) I believe in, support and thoroughly endorse the idea and business model behind ZipCar, and b) Face it, there are times in everyones' lives when an SUV is handy. A trip to IKEA, a move across town, taking four 150 pound dogs to the vet. Going to Costco. It doesn't warrant the price and gas guzzling bad-for-the-environment purchase of an SUV, but, it would be handy two or three times a year. Enter: ZipCar. Wheels, even SUV wheels, only when you want or need them. I ♥ ZipCar.

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