Well, now. Now I have a conundrum. One of the items in the "Stay" column of my "Should I Stay or Should I Go" Chicago list is going national, so I can leave Chicago and still get my weekly dose of Svengoolie.

Yes, Svengoolie was on my list of reasons to stay in Chicago. Hey. A girl needs her scary B-movie fix.

Whether I stay in Chicago or go, I, and those of you outside the greater metropolitan Chicago area, can dine on the smart-but-campy fun that is Svengoolie.

For you Detroiters going all "pffft, traitor. And she calls herself a Michigander. This Svengoolie chap is no Sir Graves," you're right, I concur, Svengoolie is no Sir Graves. But, no one will ever match the genius of Sir Graves. And Sven isn't trying. He's his own ghoul, has his own demons. He's the closest thing new generations have to Sir Graves, so I embrace and applaud him. And now you can, too.

Don't ask me to explain Berwyn. Just trust me and Sven, it's mock-worthy.

In case your local affiliate isn't carrying Sven, yet, here's the door to the crypt. I triple dog dare you to not guffaw.