Total Perspective Vortex
What really happened to Trillian? Theories abound, but you can see what she's really been up to on this blog. If you're looking for white mice, depressed robots, or the occasional Pan Galactic Gargleblaster you might be better served here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/guide/.
Don't just sit there angry and ranting, do something constructive.
In the words of Patti Smith (all hail Sister Patti): People have the power.
Contact your elected officials.
Don't be passive = get involved = make a difference.
Words are cool.
The English language is complex, stupid, illogical, confounding, brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating.
Every now and then a word presents itself that typifies all the maddeningly gorgeousness of language. They're the words that give you pause for thought. "Who came up with that word? That's an interesting string of letters." Their beauty doesn't lie in their definition (although that can play a role). It's also not in their onomatopoeia, though that, too, can play a role. Their beauty is in the way their letters combine - the visual poetry of words - and/or the way they sound when spoken. We talk a lot about music we like to hear and art we like to see, so let's all hail the unsung heroes of communication, poetry and life: Words.
Here are some I like. (Not because of their definition.)
Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Smart Girls
(A Trillian de-composition, to the tune of Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys)
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Smart girls ain’t easy to love and they’re above playing games
And they’d rather read a book than subvert themselves
Kafka, Beethoven and foreign movies
And each night alone with her cat
And they won’t understand her and she won’t die young
She’ll probably just wither away
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
A smart girl loves creaky old libraries and lively debates
Exploring the world and art and witty reparteé
Men who don’t know her won’t like her and those who do
Sometimes won’t know how to take her
She’s rarely wrong but in desperation will play dumb
Because men hate that she’s always right
Mama don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
Don’t let them do puzzles and read lots of books
Make ‘em be strippers and dancers and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be smart girls
They’ll never find men and they’re always alone
Even though men claim they want brains
Life(?) of Trillian
Single/Zero
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Oh crap. I think I'm old. I mean, you know, like, old.
I feel like I've seen and heard it all.
And that is the mindset that makes a person officially old. Because when you think you've seen and heard it all you have nothing to look forward to, no wonder, no curiosity, no "wow, look at that!" moments.
Yikes.
Whoa.
When did that happen?
I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing. Unemployed. Almost homeless. Yeah. That kind of colors one's perspective.
However. I've been thinking, "You know, at least there's some good new music around, we seem to be coming out of a bleak musical era..."
But now I dunno about that.
It was early Sunday morning. I woke up determined to fill the empty boxes in my living room, preparing for the descent into homelessness, boxing up stuff, purging stuff, donating stuff (anyone want a breadmaker? it's like new, only used three or four times.). Even though I wanted to crank some tunes to brighten my spirits during the dismal chore of packing, I resisted the urge to exact a little audio revenge on my neighbor. So, I turned on the television and did some channel surfing. What do you know?! I found actual music videos on VH1!! Holy crap! Music? On VH1?!! Okay, that'll do. So I was packing and purging and thinking a lot of the music sucks, which is what I used to think when VH1 played music videos 24 hours a day.
I did notice that Eminem, older, apparently more wiser, is, um, well, there's no easy way to say this, he's turning into quite a handsome man.
I've seen a few snippets of a certain someone's "controversial" video. You know who I'm talking about. She's everywhere, more famous for her outfits than her musical talent. No, not Madonna. Just a new version, Madonna 2.0. She has this big stinking new video that's supposed to be a big scandalous artsy deal. I didn't see the big deal, it's just a redux of a couple Madonna videos. Naked writhing among militant male dancers, a huge arrow pointing to her vagina, nun/religious iconography, machine gun boob bra all set to a disco beat...meh, yawn. Mock provocative, contrived controversy, staged sedition. Spin. I thought, "Maybe I missed the controversial part, so since it's playing I'll watch the whole thing." My original opinion rests. Naked writhing woman falling around militant male dancers with Mo from the Three Stooges haircuts, a huge red arrow pointing to her vagina, nun/religious iconography, machine gun boob bra all set to a disco beat...meh, yawn.What, no python emerging from her vagina? Or did I miss that part?
Back to packing.
And then Snoop Dog caught my eye. I have a thing for Snoop Dog. A cultural, sociological interest in Snoop Dog. So I was kind of surprised to see him featured in another pop chick's music video. Huh. This is illustrating my point about the cultural/sociological interest in Snoop Dog. Why is he the socially acceptable thug rapper? What sets him apart from other thug rappers? (Let the record state, I dig Snoop Dog, I like his apparent sense of humor and self awareness. That's cool.) But this video, well, the song is lame pop fluff, and apparently the video producers felt the same way because it's like a 3D version of the game Candyland. The singer and her backup gurls ride huge candy canes that turn into brightly colored cartoon snakes. Ahhhh, finally, serpent-as-sexual-loss-of-innocence symbolism I was craving. Complete with girl dancers wearing cupcake frosted bras. And at the end the singer shoots whipped cream from faux Redi-whip cans smooshed into her cupcake bra...at Snoop.
This makes me curious. Why the upsurge in boob/nipple as projectile emitting source? I'm a chick, I have boobs and nipples, I see them every day, so there's no mystery in boobs and nipples to me, so maybe my opinion is biased.
I guess men like the idea of things shooting out of women's boobs/nipples. I guess it's provocative and seductive to men. Maybe that's why I'm single. I don't shoot bullets or whipped cream from my boobs.
Sidebar: Not that I've seen it done as often as the boob emission imagery, a guy shooting bullets or whipped cream or anything else from his penis in a music video or onstage or in general doesn't turn me on. Though let the record state, I'll sit on the review board for penis emission iconography music videos. Anyone up for a Tommy Lee solo video? I mean, he can drive a boat with it, just imagine what he could do with the aid of props and choreography. Still, a mock AK47 strapped atop a guy's penis doesn't often feature in my fantasies. But then I'm not really into mixing violence with sex. I'm a lover not a fighter. So maybe this just isn't my thing. Maybe plenty of other women are into Howitzers in the bedroom.
Here's the thing, though. Pop culture history is filled with boob shooting iconography. So much so that it's cliché. So why are these young video songstresses' producers relying on it?
Maybe if it were done comically, like the Fembots in Austin Powers. Now that's funny and apt use as boobs as firepower. And maybe the whipped cream cans shooting at Snoop Dog is funny. But I dunno. Yawn. Plus this songstress is young enough to be Snoop's daughter so there's a really creepy "ewwww" factor when two streams of whipped cream shoot from her boobs at Snoop. I'm sure he's in on the joke, I'm guessing he knows he's providing hope and vicarious fantasies for millions of mid-life-crisis-aged men, but still, ewwww. I'm just not down with the young 20s woman with middle aged man thing. Speaking of trite and cliché.
And that's when it occurred to me. I'm old. I have seen and heard it all. Even a young girl shooting whipped cream from her boobs at Snoop Dog seems trite and stupid. All I see is a mid-life-crisis inspired fantasy theme. Even a writhing naked young woman with big red arrow pointing at her vagina dancing among military inspired extras from a Three Stooges inspired production of Cabaret and laying in bed with a bright red nun costume bores me.
It's all so contrived. Which is why I never really cared for music videos. I'm just not a forced, contrived, big song and dance spectacle kind of person.
And maybe it's important for a new generation of kids to be exposed to over-the-top video production numbers so that they can decide if they like that sort of thing or not. Were it not for Madonna and Duran Duran I might not have known that I don't like that sort of thing. They did me a favor. By doing what they did they gave me the opportunity to listen, view and form a definitive opinion. Thanks to them I know, without a doubt, that I do not like overproduced, overimaged pop music. Thanks to them I learned, early on, that I'm a substance over style kind of person. So maybe this new slew of videos and trite overproduced pop music is important. Because without it there can't be a backlash.
The Madonna/Duran Duran backlash directly (and thankfully swiftly) resulted in The Pixies, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Nirvana among other notable anti-image, substance-over-style musicians. So maybe, maybe I do have something to look forward to, maybe the resulting backlash against this trite, over-produced spectacle-imagery-based "music" will rock my world.
